Context:

Other responses:

  • Seanchaí (she/her)
    link
    fedilink
    481 year ago

    Patriarchy is when people voluntarily do something to help feed their community and foster neighbourhood relations.

    Liberation is when women are scolded by strangers and insulted for choosing to do something they want to do.

    • I’m kinda envious of how good you can write points on thin lined subjects, I always get mistaken for an extremist because I can’t communicate what I’m saying proberly. An example someone once said in a convo something about removing an expensive car’s badge for the car to not be stolen, that being a dumbass thing to say I said (I admit it’s a bad comparison) it’s like saying a woman won’t be harassed if she wore something not revealing (my argument was that a car’s badge affects the car being stolen as much as revealing clothes affect a woman being harassed as in the car would be stolen anyway if there’s thieves around) it was a very tasteless comparison and dumb and due to my poor wording everyone thought I was a rape apologist (something I am not).

      This whole paragraph I just wrote can also be used as an example of me not knowing how to write without sounding weird.

      • Seanchaí (she/her)
        link
        fedilink
        211 year ago

        Thank you, I’m a writer and educator so being able to explain myself is something I work quite a lot on.

        It’s difficult, especially for second-language English speakers, to be taken in good faith online, where people are already looking for the worst possible interpretation of what you’re saying.

        For instance, I can tell from the point you made (and while I agree they aren’t particularly comparable situations) that you were saying what a woman wears is not a factor in whether or not she will be assaulted. You’re correct on that, and it is, in fact, the opposite of assault apologia.

        People are looking for excuses to misinterpret each other and create breakdowns in communication. It can be incredibly overwhelming to try to communicate in such a situation, and often it leaves you needing to expend extra energy in checking and double-checking what you’ve said in the hopes you’ll be able to notice the ways it may be misunderstood and fix them before you send it.

        I think you’re doing well, though <3

      • Arsen6331 ☭
        link
        fedilink
        121 year ago

        If they interpreted what you said as what you actually said, they would know what you meant. The issue is that these people love looking for every way possible to ascribe bad intentions to everything they read online, so they interpreted your reply as something you did not say. It is extremely annoying, and a big reason that I barely use any social media other than Lemmygrad now.

  • @ComradeSalad@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    361 year ago

    Go into any culture that isn’t American or Western European; East Asian, Eastern European, Middle Eastern, African, Latin American, Caribbean, literally anywhere in the world, and you will find people cooking whole feasts because there is a possibility of an acquaintance dropping by for 5 minutes.

    Imagine understanding the concept of hospitality.

    • @SpaceDogs@lemmygrad.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      171 year ago

      My family is Portuguese so I am well aware of guests being nearly force fed before they can leave and must take leftovers lol

      • @ComradeSalad@lemmygrad.ml
        link
        fedilink
        20
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        My family background is Belarussian, and guests must have a full 3 course dinner, bread, tea, a lot of sweets to go with the tea, some fresh fruit, and 5 large Tupperware containers of extra dinner. If they do not go through this process they will be bared from leaving the house. I have also never left a Portuguese friends house without their Avó using an excavator to shovel food into my mouth.

        It has been drilled into me from birth that I should never EVER eat or drink anything in front of friends, or houseguests without offering them some lmao. I don’t understand how people, especially well off people, can religiously guard food. Even when I am starving and have 10 dollars worth of food to make it through the week, I can’t imagine not sharing or offering anything to a guest or friend, it just seems so rude and selfish.

        • 陆船。
          link
          fedilink
          131 year ago

          This is what individualism does to an mf. If my guest wants food they would have bought it and brought it to my house 🤡. I’ve been to house parties where the rule is “bring your own beer”. Not “I have stuff but always appreciate more” just straight bring your own lmfao.

        • This stuff right here is worth preserving. I love to cook. But I also only like to cook if it’s for more than just me.

          It’s really just a very basic human love language. Damn near primordial. It says; I am aware of hunger and I am aware of the joys of a full belly. And since I have the power to prevent you from feeling hunger; I will do that.

          To be THIS MAD over a woman wanting to feed her knuckle headed neighbors is stunning.

          Where I work, we used to do unsanctioned pot lucks. Outside the mandates of management. Stuff like that builds solidarity. I have older women coworkers who straight up feed me and on return; I usually find myself making sure I do most the heavy lifting in my job specifically for them because they’re older and I dont wanna see my coworkers risk hurting themselves.

          It aint patriarchy for women to cook for men. It’s patriarchy to MAKE women cook for men as a prescriptive expectation of gender roles.

          Why be angry at women who WANT to be motherly?

  • @lxvi@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    331 year ago

    The liberals are doing it. They are trying to dismantle the most sacred and ancient of ethical traditions of guest-host relations. Don’t you dare strengthen your community by establishing some co-relation in the most basic and universally understood manor. Don’t you dare act kindly toward your neighbor or break out of your selfish, commodified, isolation. How dare you do a kind act without expecting something greater in return. The liberals are going after what’s left of humanities soul in the West. They’ll sterilize the humanity out of us more than they already have with their twisted, hedonistic ideology.

    • @Kirbywithwhip1987@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      19
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Is there any particular reason as to why libs naturally have and show less emotions than Terminator or Jason?

      I’ve talked to more than enough of them, these people are monsters, no regard to anything except their ideology

      • Egoism has been taught to them as a virtue.

        Honestly it looks exactly like the material emanation of subjective idealist philosophy, nothing is real to them except them.

        • @redtea@lemmygrad.ml
          link
          fedilink
          181 year ago

          If one reads Prince by Machiavelli and then takes a look at Renaissance art, sculpture, culture, one can see how a plea to virtue was embedded in and reflected the ruling ideology. The virtues were captured in art and portrayed for everyone to see (before and while Machiavelli wrote – he didn’t necessarily come up with the idea himself).

          The art from that time is often brutal. It was a virtue to be warlike and able to crush one’s enemies. So aristocrats and merchants (an early model of the modern bourgeois in the first proto-capitalist city states) would pay for paintings and sculptures of themselves wielding clubs and crushing other strong men – capturing their supposed manly virtue.

          The same kind of portrayals can be seen throughout Europe following the Renaissance.

          It’s strange… the dark ages are acknowledged, a time when records were lost, before the Renaissance became the Enlightenment, but if humans survive whatever is about to come our way with global warming and nuclear war, I’m guessing that future societies will look back at this time as having ‘slipped back’ into a second dark age, where humanity largely lost the capacity to see itself. The parallels are uncanny. (Parenti’s History as Mystery touches on the suppression of historical knowledge, as does, IIRC, Cedric Robinson’s An Anthropology of Marxism.)

          Today we see this everywhere in film, TV, books, magazines, all media forms. Constant depictions of what makes people (especially those in the ruling class) great, and better than others. It’s quite insidious, but art is taught poorly in schools, so children are not taught to question – or even to see – their environment. @Kirbywithwhip1987@lemmygrad.ml, this may explain why we see so many Terminators and Jasons.

          Curiously, most people don’t even accept that members of the ruling class pay for art (and news stories) that depicts them in glory. If you mention it, people’s eyes glaze over or they call you a conspiracy theorist.

          In a way, they’re right, because some of the payment mechanisms are distorted by the wage labour relation. And there are so many people willing to idealise the status quo without being commissioned like a merchant explicitly seeking out a canvas by da Vinci or Michelangelo. As if PR and marketing firms are not just a sophisticated form of the same age old practice.

          I suppose the ruling class knows how dangerous it is to teach the lower classes history and to teach them how to understand relations as historically contingent. That path would lead to Marxism even if it did not lead to Marx or Marxists.

          I’m unsure if this is what you meant, @PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml, by

          the material emanation of subjective idealist philosophy

          but it’s what you made me think of.

          • @PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
            link
            fedilink
            13
            edit-2
            1 year ago

            Now that you mention it, i cannot attest for art, but it’s also very visible in literature, especially the fairly young genre that is supposed to look in the future - the science fiction - from around 30 years already, their visions are increasingly dark dystopias, and even when they aren’t openly nightmarish they do tend to regress into the “golden age” of “infinitely” growing capitalist economy.

            • @redtea@lemmygrad.ml
              link
              fedilink
              21 year ago

              Good example!

              It’s especially problematic with sci-fi, too, because it often leaves the reader thinking that they can now spot the big problem. Or that capitalism can exist in the future. I can’t remember the source, but I recently heard that with current technology (including tech that we can predict will be possible in future), even if we can start extracting from space, at the rate of growth needed to sustain capitalism, we will still run out of resources in 400 years! That is not long at all in human historical terms!

              • @PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml
                link
                fedilink
                2
                edit-2
                1 year ago

                we will still run out of resources in 400 years! That is not long at all in human historical terms!

                Well capitalists usually barely plan for more than one quarter ahead, so when they hear about 400 years they will just burn the Earth.

          • @CITRUS@lemmygrad.ml
            link
            fedilink
            41 year ago

            @redtea Are you like a professional writer or something, cause words always seem to flow from you eloquently and wondering how you do it

            • @redtea@lemmygrad.ml
              link
              fedilink
              11 year ago

              That’s high praise! Thank you.

              Good question. Hmm… I spend most of my working day writing, reading, editing, or giving feedback on writing. So I suppose I am, though I wouldn’t introduce myself as a professional writer.

              I’m glad you think my writing is eloquent. If I write well it’s down to lots of practice and reading. I was not great at writing through school. There was some improvement from about age 17, which I put down starting to read several novels each week from about age 15/16.

              It was not until university that I realised poor writing was holding me back, and that writing is work – i.e. it’s not just a case of recording the words in one’s mind in the order that they appear. That’s only step one.

              So I read several books on style, craft, and on how to write essays, fiction, and non-fiction. All the while testing out voices and styles in assessments to make the most of feedback.

              The first book that was helpful was Strunk and White, The Elements of Style. Orwell’s (I know, I know, but this one is worth reading) Politics and the English Language was also useful. While both helped with writing more clearly and accurately, I also started to write quite densely – a result of trying to write as briefly as possible.

              That’s when I started thinking about creative non-fiction. Long before becoming a Marxist, I found, IIRC, Peter Medawar’s ‘advice to a young scientist’ quite useful (I’ll try to dig up the article and exact title).

              Now I think there are no easy formulas for good writing. There are lots of different types. Still, there is a lot to be said for the following notions:

              • good writing takes time, care, and attention;
              • good writing involves re-writing;
              • the first draft can always be improved;
              • the second, third, and forth, etc, drafts can also be improved – you have to decide which draft is good enough;
              • writing is a craft and we cannot assume it will come naturally, so we need to pay attention to good examples and learn to figure out why they are good, then to try the same technique to see if it improves our own work.

              Now I’m hoping your ‘wondering how [I] do it’ wasn’t rhetorical. If it wasn’t rhetorical, I am happy to keep talking about writing.

              • @CITRUS@lemmygrad.ml
                link
                fedilink
                21 year ago

                Oh not in the slightest was it rhetorical, I appreciate the detailed response. It shows that you are an active writer. I have taken note of those books.

                A problem for me especially is writing densely and my own patience.

                I myself am a highschool student in the US and there was never any actual advice or help for me to try to elaborate my own thoughts into a strong voice. I always had a faint idea of what i was trying to say, but it would never come out just right. This became increasingly apparent whenever I would try to elaborate my political views or debunk Western propaganda.

                Another issue i run into, is this weird “wanna be professional” voice i get when writing. A lot of big words or language with little value, and sounds very artificial. Now this probably stems from teachers telling us to “sound right” and having us fill a word quota so the essay becomes incredibly bloated.

                Okay ill be working on my writing, tho for further discussion what would you recommend, DMs? Email? I assume using this thread wouldn’t be wise in the long run. I really, honest to god, appreciate you taking time to respond. :)

      • @lxvi@lemmygrad.ml
        link
        fedilink
        161 year ago

        that exactly. Man is not an island, but liberals will do their damnedest to put an ocean in between each and every one of us.

    • Muad'Dibber
      link
      fedilink
      221 year ago

      Twitter probably loves increasing engagement by not letting you just downvote some of the worst takes you’ve ever seen.

    • @lxvi@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      111 year ago

      Can you imagine calling someone stupid over something like this? They wouldn’t dare say that to someone’s face. It’s why I hate so much of internet discourse. There is a complete lack of respect that wouldn’t be tolerate irl.

    • SovereignState
      link
      fedilink
      41 year ago

      another prime example of the horseshoe theory existing between liberal feminist talking points and avowed misogynist hate speech

  • Marxism-Fennekinism
    link
    30
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Dear fake wokers: saying that a woman shouldn’t cook for other people is just as sexist as saying a woman should.

    Feminism is not about changing what women can and can’t do in society, it’s about women’s right to freely choose without coersion or societal pressure what they do and don’t do.

  • DankZedong
    link
    fedilink
    23
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    Please close twitter, go outside and touch grass for a second if this upsets you. People cooking and teaching their community is not a bad thing.

  • Alright. So here is what we do. Gentlemen. We mist don our maid outfits and carboy outfits and cook a big hearty meal for the simple fellas out there eating nothing but pizza.

    It is a duty.

  • @frippa
    link
    181 year ago

    Kindness = patriarchy I guess

  • 陆船。
    link
    fedilink
    181 year ago

    Gender roles is when women prepare food for guests they invited I guess… Cooking for guests is literally the only time I enjoy it.

    • Agree, but maybe she can give them some recipes and motivate them to do it. Or it was just a kind gesture and that’s it. I know I went a while without cooking my own meals, I was a total trash goblin, but part of that was also because I couldn’t afford much else.

      • It’s super easy to get into the “trash” food routine because at the end of the day, it’s a habit. And food is just right there, you can always call the pizza place or put something frozen in the oven. It’s available right here and there all the time.

        One thing I’ve noticed is the more you cook the more you want to do it though.

      • @lxvi@lemmygrad.ml
        link
        fedilink
        101 year ago

        I just want to point out that I would be very upset if someone came to my door, told me I was eating like trash, and then gave me instructions on how to better eat; whereas, I would be grateful if they came to my house with a dish they’d prepared, even if I didn’t want it.

    • @SpaceDogs@lemmygrad.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      101 year ago

      Some other tweets imply they aren’t home for very long so they’re probably too busy with work/school to cook and by the time they get home they’re too tired.