Hey all,
So I recently decided to go vegan. My personal reasons for ditching animal products were because of environmental factors, animal welfare, and trying to maintain consistency with the values I hold to their logical ends.
I was curious. I’ve seen a lot of hate towards vegans online, admittedly being someone who partook in that several years ago myself to a small degree. While I’m glad and very lucky people I know closely have been making accommodations for me, I’m also worried about mentioning or bringing it up to people I’m getting to know since I don’t want to rub them the wrong way if they possibly have these notions that being vegan and veganism are a bad thing. Namely when it’s relevant in conversation like people asking me why I read ingredients lists or can’t have something they’re offering me, which I’ve been half-lying attributing to food allergies and intolerances out of worry (I’m lactose intolerant, which helps as a cop-out).
I’m wanting to know what people dislike about vegans, whether they’re based on previous experiences they’ve had, or preconceived notions, and what would make someone a “good vegan” in their eyes. I know I shouldn’t be a people-pleaser, but knowing this stuff would definitely help me gain the confidence to be more open about myself and my personal values to others who don’t necessarily share said values.
Thanks in advance, I’ll try to respond where possible, but it’s going to be a busy day for me, though I do read all replies to posts I make.
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You just do you. I think when people say “bad” they generally mean preachy. That is not most vegans. Just live your life, eat what you want, bring good food to potlucks so that you know you’ll have something.
I will add that mentioning it is not preachy, if you get an overreaction it’s not you. I am omnivorous and would want someone to tell me before a party or outing so that I don’t accidentally invite them to a steakhouse or BBQ joint. I often make vegan food for potlucks just because it’s sort of a baseline, most everyone can eat it.
Respond to right wing reactionaries who go out of their way to complain about vegans simply with “😇💌Triggered”
There. Now you are the Good Vegan™️
I don’t think there are good arguments for eating meat, and I think people get mad at vegans because of the cognitive dissonance. “If eating meat is bad, and I eat meat, then I’m bad. But I’m not bad! They must be bad! They suck!”
Sometimes you see this with other things. Like if someone walks or takes a bike instead of driving for the environment. “If driving is bad for the environment, and I do a lot of driving, I’m doing bad. But I’m a good person! Fuck them for making me feel bad!”
Most people are just large children.
Sometimes people try to justify eating meat. Some reasons are more defensible than others. Someone with severe allergies might have trouble getting nutrition from vegan options. Someone saying “but I enjoy it” is acting like a child.
In short, most people are operating mostly on emotional levels. Facts don’t really matter. Feelings drive them. I think this is the root of most of our problems, honestly, that people can’t put aside their emotions.
Personally, I try to minimize how much meat I eat, but I’m okay with accepting sometimes I do bad things.
Not by asking non vegans. Vegans are the voice for the voiceless and you’re taking part in a boycott that challenge peoples core beliefs. To be a good vegan is to push back and disturb social cohesion which people do not like. I’m not a vegan to make friends, I’m vegan to do the right thing.
“What makes a “good vegan”, and how can I be one?”
huh… not eating/consuming animal-related products?
Yeah I think “evangelical vegans” or “bad vegans” are a sort of caricature made for comedians and then everyone else to punch down on. Sure annoying vegans exist, and so do annoying meat eating people, but diet isn’t necessarily why these people are annoying.
I imagine there’s also an element of defensiveness from meat eaters as well. Even reasonably stating “I don’t eat meat because of the cruelty in the industry and the negative environmental impacts” is implicitly challenging a meat eater to consider those things, which they likely never have. And being faced with the certainty that the vegan is making that statement (the cruelty of the industry and environmental impacts are objective), the meat eater is possibly going to feel like they are being judged or attacked.
As a non-vegan, I think the hatred towards vegans is unwarranted. While some vegans are being really annoying about it, the vast majority of vegans are just normal people who happened to not eat animal products. Some people will hate you regardless of what you do because they generalize all vegans as the same. Don’t waste your time trying to please them, they aren’t worth it.
In my experience, the annoying vegans are already annoying people even before becoming vegan, if you aren’t annoying to be around, you’ll be fine.
For me, it isn’t really a hatred, more a “I’m tired of hearing about this.” It’s almost never “I’m vegan” and that’s the end of it. It’s all too often “I’m vegan and you should be too and you should feel bad for not being vegan and here in my TED talk I will cover…”
Be vegan if you want. If you decide to proselytize, take “no” or “stop” for an answer.
Most vegans I know, I only found out are vegans because I asked about dietary restrictions before cooking for them, or we went to eat at a restaurant and they asked the waiter if the dish is vegan.
Sure, some vegans are going to be annoying to deal with like you describe, but they are just a loud minority, you just remember the unpleasant encounters more.
Perhaps, but the unpleasant ones are usually very unpleasant and sometimes violent.
My wife and I will accommodate vegans so long as they’re content to keep it to themselves. If we don’t wish to eat the same thing, that’s our choice and not intended as an offense.
you don’t have to be good, and you don’t have to apologize or explain your choices. the vegans who are jerks about it are right. their choices to act in ways which alienate them sometimes are their own. you can do the same or not. thanks for being vegan, either way
As someone who deals with lactose intolerance.
Just don’t make it a big deal, if you can’t eat something, don’t eat it. Your needs are important, but other people are equally entitled to their own enjoyment.
I hate vegans who only do it to virtue signal, it is a personal journey keep it that way.
If someone is thoughtful enough to ask about your dietary requirements, they are probably “good people” and won’t care about it. They will just make allowances for you.
An anecdote about dietary requirements:
I have a sister in law who cannot eat onions/garlic/leeks etc… she does make a big deal about it, no dishes can have those ingredients when she is around.
Her intolerance is about at bad as mine, she gets bloated and gassy… So not dangerous, just uncomfortable.
It always feels difficult to deal with. My view is, if you want to make potatoes with cream sauce, enjoy it I’ll eat something else.I was vegan for about 8 years. I just don’t bring it up often. I don’t tell people I am a vegetarian. It’s not a bragging point. It’s just one part of who I am. Don’t make it your whole identity.
Totally this. I have friends who are vegan, everyone in our group knows they’re vegan, and they never stand in judgment of those of us who eat meat or talk about being vegan or why they’re vegan unless they’re asked. Simply modeling their diet with total non-judgment has made them some of the best ambassadors for veganism I’ve ever met. Almost all of us have reduced our meat consumption over time as a result
I’m not vegan, but I find it absolutely wild that anyone thinks being kind of annoying sometimes comes anywhere near the level of moral or ethical bankruptcy involved in being complicit in the mass torture of animals for the sake of convenience. Like, okay, yeah, it’s not like we have the option of just deciding on behalf of powerful capitalists to just end factory farming. But deciding to at least try not to participate in it by changing your diet is at least something.
Don’t worry about being a “good vegan” if that means having to tiptoe around the fact that the rest of us fuel immense suffering both monetarily and through social normalization. You’re trying, and that’s great.
Just curious, why aren’t you vegan if you consider it morally bankrupt to be complicit in the meat industry?
I quit eating meat for a year once and it was pretty shit for my mental health. I do try to avoid the worst of factory farming as much as I can, though. Organic eggs (in my state regulations on organic eggs include a number of anti-cruelty measures), minimal chicken to reduce the death to meat quantity ratio, things like that. But also, I personally don’t feel as though the suffering inflicted on insect populations or rodent populations, or the damages of large scale farming, or the cruelty involved in transporting bees for pollenation are particularly okay either. I’m not really sure there’s such a thing as effective veganism in modern society unless you’re growing your own food at home, and I don’t have the energy, financial security, or access to land for that.
Nearly every product we consume leads to suffering and destruction. I don’t think being short of the point where you’re willing to radically change your lifestyle means I should deny that, though, even if all my spoons tend to be spent on shit like dragging myself out of bed and ensuring air quality that triggers my asthma and allergies as little as possible.
Humans are a mess. There’s a substantial cost in physical and psychological resources and energy to dwindling the impact of that mess, but there’s very little cost to at least acknowledging it and advocating for growing as a species.
Hey, glad you want to be a considerate, conscientious vegan! You won’t upset anyone as long as you follow these simple rules:
- Never admit that you are vegan
- Never talk about veganism
- When people are talking about meat, eagerly participate
- Do not eat visibly vegan food in public
- If offered meat or cheese, eat it without protest
- Do not cook vegan food if serving others
- When you see a cow, remark out loud how you want to eat it
That’s about all you need to know to be one of the Good Vegans. Hope this helps!
Lol too true mane, effin on point. Op’s gonna find out ‘bad’ vegans are generally ‘over carnist’s shit’ vegans in a minute
You sound like one of those people who deliberately tries to feed vegans animal products
This person is obviously joking. They are almost certainly vegan
You can’t really be a good vegan to people who hate vegans: the fact that they’re assholes is 100% on them and 0% on you.
Their hate of vegans comes from their own hangups. I imagine it’s one or more of:
- Their own uncomfortable feelings around eating animal products, which you are reminding them of.
- They think that vegans think that they’re “better than them,” and they resent vegans for it.
- Some weird toxic masculinity-adjacent thing.
- They just hate anything & everything that isn’t normal/consensus, for whatever reason.
Maybe there are other hangups as well; those are what immediately come to mind.
If people ask why you’re vegan, focus on the positives of veganism. I say: the food’s delicious, I feel healthier, and I like animals.
It frames it as something you benefit from, rather than depriving yourself of something.
Don’t live your life to please other people. It’ll make you miserable because there will always be those you can’t please. Instead, define for yourself what a “good vegan” is, and do your best to meet that standard. Everybody is different, and only you know what works for you.
Also, be forgiving of yourself. Everybody makes mistakes; no one is born an expert at anything. The fact that we still bite our tongues while eating is proof of that. So give yourself grace when you make a mistake; learn from it, and become better.
