Nostalgia is really interesting in that it’s inherently bittersweet. It’s nice because it grounds us in a shared timeline and focuses on mostly positive aspects of some past point in time, but it’s also sad because it means thinking back fondly on a time that will never be again.
So maybe it’s the bitter half of that bittersweet feeling that you’re subconsciously averse to? Either that or maybe your past/childhood was mostly negative or even traumatic? I’m no psychologist, so really I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Rather than jump to “trauma” here (and believe me, I say this as a person with PTSD), could you elaborate on what you mean by “fear”?
Interesting. I LOVE the feeling of nostalgia. It brings me back to a simpler and more peaceful time, when adult responsibilities and modern complexities didn’t exist yet. Whenever a late 90s/early 2000’s R&B song comes on, I’m automatically transported back in time and just relish in its bliss.
I have similar feelings and I was raised in a very controlling home. It took me years to realize the environment I grew up in wasn’t healthy, because that was my “normal”. It could be the same for you, but only you and/or a mental health professional could say for sure.
Yeah this. I have cptsd and so I’ll often want to remember and celebrate some of the beautiful parts of my past but there’s definitely this bittersweet nature there of the fear and discomfort that was present and the trauma that resulted.
Because remembering ‘what was’ leads to contemplation on ‘what could have been’, which often makes us regret ‘what is’. It is this regret which we most fear. It is essentially a fear of having missed out. Since Lemmy seems to be going classic memes, imagine the Bad News Bear meme saying, “it only gets worse with age.” Seriously. It sucks.
I’ve been wondering the same for a long time. For example I almost never listen to music from when I was younger.
Sure it could be trauma like some have suggested in this thread, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the case with me. For one thing I can’t say my childhood was traumatic, and besides I feel the same thing for any given time period in my life (I’m over 40 years old).
I think it’s because:
- It’s a strong feeling. Even if it’s a positive feeling, it can be difficult to deal with if it’s too intense.
- It makes you realize how many other pathways your life could have taken. Every choice you’ve made since has limited the options you have for the future. What if you made the wrong choice? What have you missed? Could you have been happier in an alternate universe? You’re closer to death now than you were then. Time is running out.
Mindfulness meditation has helped me deal with it. It helps me explore feelings, good or bad, with interest (but detachment) instead of being consumed by anxiety. It has helped me internalize that I can always begin again. I’m not tied down by previous choices. Every day is full of opportunities.
Fear that experiencing it again may not feel as good as you remember resulting in a forever tainted or less enjoyable memory of it than before.
This could be visiting a park your parents took you to a lot as a kid, a series you enjoyed years ago, or even just that nice restaurant with the friendly staff you once went to with your ex.
Avoiding those experiences preserves the memory as it is and you cannot “ruin” it by trying to relive them again.
Trauma
This was my first thought. I know for me when I found myself feeling uncomfortable when an old song played on the radio or friends talked about past memories. Turns out I had a shit ton of unrecognized/unresolved trauma from my childhood that resulted in CPTSD.
Maybe because they are in the past you feel can never reach them again, like drifting away on a river, and you are scared that attempting to embrace them just means you’ll suffer an angony of separation.
Are you Google?
Eww! Lol, no I’m a bored person enjoying a federated world. I chose an analogy to convey time as a physical thing to make it relatable without presenting you with a wall of text. If I struck a chord its purely coincidence.
Related, an article about the psychology of liminal spaces and liminality: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/understanding-how-liminal-space-is-different-from-other-places/
A lot of people describe liminal spaces as nostslgic, even as “I swear I’ve seen this before” even if the location is completely foreign to them (or even fictional, like a computer rendering). But most people also say that looking at them feels eerie or gives them unease. It probably falls under the umbrella of what you’re asking and could offer some insight.
I feel like nostupidquestion is more appropuate for this question
Because they mark the inevitable passage of time.
deleted by creator
You mean feel?
Many of us fear feeling too deeply. I’d guess that is why so many of us escape into things that take us away from reality: soap operas/entertainment TV; drugs, alcohol, other addictions such as promiscuous sex that could hurt us, gambling, compulsive shopping that ruins our finances, etc. An online friend introduced me to vippassanna and sent me a wonderful poetic one-page article about it (lost it) and that helped a lot. Taoism and stoicism has similar teachings or thinking. It helps.
Trauma
