Advice on parents?
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Hi. My parents were talking about a news story and the topic of race came up and my parents views on race are sketchy, at best. My mom said something disgusting as did my dad, and it made me very upset. Is there anything I can say to them to educate them? Does your family have sketchy views on race?

P.S. Both my parents are 70.

@marmulak
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3M

It depends on how open they are to listening to other people, but you can’t change it suddenly or overnight. I don’t think a decisive action or argument will work, but I think gradually introducing them to new ideas without letting them feel threatened could result in them thinking about things more over time.

Also the thing with racism is that in our culture we tend to regard it as the ultimate evil, but you know a lot of people are a little bit racist, and that’s unfortunate, but it may not even be the worst thing about them. Your parents might have stupid ideas, but I hope they’re not hurting anyone. If they are that should be addressed first

So just also consider that it may not be worth it to do anything about it if you don’t have to. Especially at 70 years of age, you might not want to bother… For example, my grandparents were rather racist, but I would not describe as hateful, and all they did really was sit at home and watch TV. They’re dead now, so that takes care of the racism at least.

Adult_InThe_Room
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Very well said, marmulak But it would be interesting to see how they react if OP calming broached the subject by saying that OP politely asks them not to speak like that infront of him. Then became quiet, they may become silent. Which means they aren’t hard core. But if they start to defend what they and start giving reason why so and so are terrible people. Then they are hard core. But just don’t say anything after to let the stew simmer. Next time OP visits parents they may open up. Personally ln my life, as a pure white European acording to ancestry.com. My white divorced mother dated a few black men in highly racist Indiana in the 1960’s. I dated a few white women but eventually married a black women, until she passed from lung cancer. Now I’m married to a women of Puerto Rican ancestry. Which means her ancestry includes native American Caribbean Indian, west coast African, anastasi Jew, and another 12 races including Irish! I purposely decided to do this in my life and have had wonderful relationships.

@MedicareForSome
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33M

Don’t confront them directly on it, it will cause them to dig their heels in.

I would just send them agitprop, like if the news article comes out about how X race has Y disadvantage. Frame it that the reason racism exists is because the wealthy elites want to keep us all in line and keep their pockets full.

A lot of people are racist and don’t even realize it because we have grown up and been raised in a racist place.

@sinewyshadow
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13M

I tried to explain that how capitalism is the reason african americans are struggling, but they didn’t seem to get it.

@a_Ha
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23M

As we grow old, our capacity to learn becomes nil, our will to learn becomes negative.

Race can be genetics culture and choice to belong ; in due time i could choose to belong to other groups & change my culture & change my genetics, if only i could live 1000 years without growing old.

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