Do you have knee jerk reaction thoughts on situations or people you know to be false, but keep coming up and need to consciously suppress and remind yourself they’re irrational?
When someone has a slur in their speech because of an accent or impediment or whatever reason there may be, I need to remind myself it does not reflect their intelligence in any way.
The most ironic thing is that while nobody ever complains about it, when I hear myself on a recording I think I maybe should go see a speech therapist.
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That we are living in a simulation.
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That I am a terrible human being who is unworthy of love or respect.
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That I am incompetent and it’s only a matter of time before my employer finds out and fires me.
The last one is Imposter Syndrome. I struggle with it too. Despite having worked in web development for 25+ years, I’m constantly finding myself thinking that I don’t know anything and any day now everyone else will realize it. It’s a constant battle to remind myself that I’m actually talented and knowledgeable and not just a huge fraud.
Is there any other profession where Imposter Syndrome is so ubiquitous as software development? Often you can even feel superior to some people while still feeling like an imposter yourself.
For me it may be more about the effort of handling all the responsibility given because of my skills and knowledge, so I am hoping people to call me out on all of the small mistakes and be less eager to trust me more responsibilities. I also get really hung up on trying to give perfect advice when requested to the point I would often rather do it on their behalf instead of trying to make sure I’m not accidentally leading them astray.
Michael from Vsauce has an interesting point about how the mere existence of scripted media messes with our minds. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gUXxOYnd49Y
From the first day humankind realized they are making things and extrapolated something could have made them, they have imagined invisible forces controlling them. In the current era it has been kicked in to overdrive because we have daily first hand experiences on peering into completely scripted or simulated worlds.
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My biggest worry is that I’ll die…
What makes you feel like that?
I’m in my mid-to-late 40’s with a family history of heart problems. I want to be here for my kid and I worry what’ll happen to him if I’m not around anymore.
Being worried about your health and family is normal, just don’t let it overwhelm you. Family history is just a risk factor and there are multiple ways to mitigate it. You don’t have to be a health nut, just trying to have a healthyish diet and doing any kind of exercise, like simply going for a walk, regularly can make a big difference.
I’m so used to people bullying me during school and high school, that I feel wrong when strangers do not immediately begin loathing my presence.
You are not alone with this. After being put down for so long you end up internalising it and finding self-acceptance after that is hard and takes time. It also requires effort and help from others, which makes it even harder when you feel you’re not worth their time.
My problem is, I have no help from others available whatsoever, and chances are I never will. I’m too mentally tired to force myself into self-acceptance when the few people left around me are actively hindering my progress in that regard.
