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The best kinds are insults disguised as compliments.
“I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.”
“I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed your presentation.”
“You never cease to amaze me.”
“If we were sat on a bench together and someone came up and said ‘One of you two is an idiot’, I wouldn’t think they were talking about me because I don’t take offense easily”.
I’ve read it 10 times now, and I still don’t get it (I think?). Am I the idiot on the bench? Is the insult about me? Can someone explain it to me please?
I assume it’s to insult both of them with both thinking they just insulted the other.
“I am sure that with enough determination, you can make it to the top of the bell curve.”
I think the Frankie Boyle insult to an audience member is the best. It was a long story and I’ll try and search for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX1jMmfG2Xk&t=60
“You couldn’t pour piss from a boot if the instructions were on the heel.”
“Are you this stupid full time, or is it just a hobby?”
“You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball.”
If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin-Laden, and you, I would shoot you twice.
