• 164 Posts
  • 186 Comments
Joined 3 years ago
Cake day: January 29th, 2022
  • sascuachOPtoChat@beehaw.org•Have any interesting victim blaming stories?
    3·
    2 years ago

    Just want to say sorry that you’re experiencing this. It sounds pretty invalidating and traumatizing. I hope you can find a better set of individuals to share these experiences with 😞

    You’re good at this! Someone once told me not to talk to them as much like this bc it was too therapyish for them. Since then I try to roughly paraphrase what they’re saying and like throw in a dumb joke. (Ex someone’s telling me how they got fired, i summarize how they got fired and say like “another day in paradise”. Which usually at least gets a slight smile) I’ve never known how well received my approach is, but no obvious negative reviews. I’m unsure if the joke at the end is too abrupt change of tone or something? What do you think about this kind of approach?

    but are the people you are talking to men?

    Mostly. I read about this too. I don’t know as many women and the ones I do tend to be at least somewhat tomboyish and they do the same thing lol.

    Also I’ve been thinking, when people tell me about some bad story that happened to them, I’ve been wondering if I should straight up ask “do you want me to give you dumb obvious advice?” But I don’t want them to feel like “sir this is a Wendy’s” (which is also funny bc a Wendy’s cashier was complaining about her position to me in Wendy’s lmao)

  • sascuachOPtoChat@beehaw.org•Have any interesting victim blaming stories?
    3·
    2 years ago

    I hit the libraries and bookstores so fucking hard

    As someone who somewhat raised themself, thanks a lot for putting in the effort!!! Which might sounds like a strange thing to say, but do you get why I appreciate hearing that you put in the effort?

    All the readings helped? I read psychology today articles with consistency and they talk about these kind of things sometimes. I read through them for the same reason you do, self improvement

  • sascuachOPtoChat@beehaw.org•Have any interesting victim blaming stories?
    4·
    2 years ago

    Venting:

    Depending on factors, when someone gives obvious advice, it really stakes a fence in the sand of “i don’t know what you’re talking about”. Specifically when they give obvious advice and don’t ask much about why you haven’t done that already.

    And then sometimes (tdy) go from telling a story where i was victimized to basically being revictimized by the person i’m talking to where i have to hold myself back bc they keep giving obv dumb advice, and if i explain why I didn’t do Y, they press on something like Y2 then Y3 etc.

    There might be some kind of golden rule here of unless i’m testing how ‘suitable’ someone is or we’re friends, dont explain jack squat