So I met this girl by chance and we really hit it off, once I learned of her age I decided to just be friends as I think that 19 to 25 is an age were we mature a lot and I remember myself as a 19yo and I was not mature enough to be a good partner and to be good to myself.

I talked to a female friend of mine and she said that I’m over thinking it and that I should ask her out and be open minded, and so I did and we are going on a date soon.

The thing is, she seems really mature but I can’t put aside the age gap.

Am I over thinking it? Should I really just take it slow and just be vigilant about the situation and notice if this isn’t healthy for me or her?

Or should I let her down easy and continue as friends?

Update: We went on a date and it was great, I read all of the comments and there were some really good advices that I took to heart. I will take things slow and try to be as aware of the situation as possible. I hope it will go well :)

Thank you everyone!

  • elouboub@kbin.social
    458·
    1 year ago

    USAian society has probably told you there is some kind of formula to calculate whether it’s alright. Fuck that. Treat her like a human, not some input to a formula. Be decent, communicate, and if she’s fine with it and likes you, that’s all that matters. Society shouldn’t come between you and another human.

    • SerinusEnglish
      2015·
      1 year ago

      Yeah, there’s really nothing wrong with a 50 year old dating a 19 year old. Age is just a number. There’s no power imbalance there or expectations. It’s perfectly healthy for the 19 year old to get into a long term relationship where their partner is going to be 70 before they’re 40.

      Or, maybe, half your age + 7 is a good rule. It’s pretty lenient.

      • JasSmith@kbin.social
        114·
        1 year ago

        At 18 we let people vote on the direction of the entire nation. We let them buy houses and go into debt for life. We let them die in war for their country. Most places in the world let them drink and get married. Of all of these rights, the absolute least of them is the right to fuck whichever other adult they choose. I cannot understand the utter insanity of thinking one is responsible enough to vote but not have sex. If you don’t think they’re responsible enough to have sex then they’re sure as shit not responsible enough to everything else.

        18 year olds are adults. It’s time we stop infantilising them. People used to get married much younger than even that. If they want to fuck an older person, more power to them.

        • rooster_butt@lemm.ee
          61·
          1 year ago

          Yeah its not illegal for an 18 year old to date a 50 year old. You can still recognize that the 50 year old in this case is a creep.

          No bank will give a home loan to an 18 year old that doesn’t have income. They will happily give them a student loan and saddle them in debt for life though because the loan can’t be discharged. That scenario is legal and is also rightfully criticized.

          You say let them die in a war like thats a feature and something the teenager wants. Governments would conscript younger teens if they could get away with it.