• BougieBirdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    I once had my employer perform a wellness check when I was having a mental health episode.

    I was working remotely, but my mental health was in the toilet. I had a candid conversation with my supervisor where I told him I needed some time off because I had been feeling suicidal. He was an absolute bro, told me I was doing a good job, and that I earned some time off. He agreed that our conditions and the demands from management were absurd. He tells me to just take some time, and he’ll clear the way with HR.

    Well, I’m logging off my computer when I get a call from his boss. He’s asking why I’m suddenly taking some time off. I tell him that I haven’t been feeling well, but he keeps badgering me for a specific reason. I tell him that I’m very vulnerable and don’t want to disclose a reason. That’s between me and my doctor.

    Well he keeps pressing and he tells me that, “sharing our vulnerabilities is what fosters trust.” So I’m like fine, you really want to know, this job and your management style are making me suicidal.

    Tone immediately shifts. He’s going into full damage control cover-your-ass mode. He tells me that I should consider a different career if I’m not up to the task. I’m already having like the worst day of my life (so far) and I start to have a panic attack.

    I tell him you know what, it’s not his business and I’m going to call my doctor. Before I can get on the phone with my doctor, HR is calling me. They tell me they have to get hold of my emergency contact to make sure I’m not currently killing myself. I tell them my emergency contact is out of town (unrelated), so they say they have to call the police. I ask her not to, there’s no risk to myself and things have been taken out of context. HR insists that it’s company policy.

    So while I’m hyperventilating because my boss pressed me for more details than I was comfortable sharing about my health, they sent a man with a gun to my house to check on me.

    I understand that the company is protecting its liability or whatever. But I really felt that my rights had been violated somehow. The police are not suitable to intervene in a mental health episode. I had a new fear that I wouldn’t be able to calm down when the police arrived and I’d end up shot or something.

    TLDR - I know this post is fake, but companies really do feel like they own their employees. A wellness check from your employer is absolutely bullshit, but that won’t stop them from trying.

    • burgersc12@mander.xyz
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      3 months ago

      I learned at a real young age to never tell anyone you feel suicidal unless you want to end up “involuntarily committed”. Won’t even bring up my depression unless I’m around a real friend.

      • ironhydroxide@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        Same.

        Perfect solution to feeling like life has no worth except making profits for billionaires is obviously to forcibly lock them up in a hospital for a week and stick them with a $20k bill. That’ll fix all that depression. /s

        • Kaity@leminal.space
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          3 months ago

          It’s not just a hospital too by the way. It was a murder short of feeling like I was in the asylum from outlast. Wailing, fighting, screaming and all other sorts of antisocial behavior, with the staff barely in control. At the least that was how it felt and being committed to that place beyond just preventing my possible suicide in the short term became a lasting traumatic experience.

          • Emerald@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            I have a similar experience that I wrote about on my blog. I would link it, but I’m not wanting to connect those two online identities. Essentially, I wasn’t even at risk of suicide, but my crazy psychiatrist thought he knew better then me and my parents. Mental hospitals are absolutely dehumanizing. They are basically prisons for those who haven’t committed any crimes. There are strip searches just like prisons. You are not allowed any outside things (stuffed animals, normal clothes, etc). Maybe prisons should start using sedatives for torture as well. Maybe I should patent the idea and make bank.

            Also to make things worse: those suffering mental health issues are very vulnerable and easy to abuse in these facilities

            • Kaity@leminal.space
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              3 months ago

              I remember just feeling numb like in disbelief that it was happening, I’m sure I have blocks of parts of that experience. I felt subhuman there.

              At some point after returning home I just shut down, stopped communicating with anyone, and layed in bed for months.

      • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Same. I did have a therapist a few years ago that I told some real bad shit to, but that was after a couple of years of building trust; I was still scared of getting a pair of grippy socks. I went to see them because of a… let’s go with a ‘stopped suicide attempt’. Stroke at a young age, fiancé left me, no hope, career goals shattered, physically fucked, financially ruined, etc so rock bottom was looking down at me like ‘damn bro I’m sorry’.

        A few close friends know things that others don’t, shit I’m not about to spill here. But it’s because they either have been in a similar situation and we have worked to keep each other alive and going, or they have degrees in the field of mental health and don’t mind trying to keep my head above water, or they are my (ex, current, etc) partner.

        There’s no fucking way I’m going to just casually be like “you ever just want to go to the roof, get right on the ledge, shoot yourself - and in case that doesn’t take you out, the concrete walkway at the foot of the 20 story fall will finish the job? No? Just me then? Ha, funny. I hate life. Haha.”

        • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          I’ve located your IP address and have dispatched well-being drones. Please do not move until they arrive. Failure to remain stationary may result in activation of Protector Mode. The drones are there for your safety. They will arrive between 8 am and 4 pm today or tomorrow.

          A few helpful guidelines to ensure your safety when the well-being drones arrive:

          • Do not reach for medication or devices
          • Do not look directly at the drones
          • Do not lie to the drones
          • Do not report feelings which may lead to negative outcomes
          • Remain calm at all times
          • Adhere to drone interaction protocols at all times
          • Unlock your doors and put any pets and/or children into a side room
    • cnirrad@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      That is fucked up. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have found a better company to work for.

      • BougieBirdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 months ago

        Thanks for the kind words, friend.

        I know this is a comedy community and I’m not trying to be a bring down. But I also think it’s important to talk about this kind of thing because, well, it’s the kind of thing that corporate america would want to sweep under the rug. We need to normalize talking about mental health because it’s yet another public health crisis that doesn’t get enough attention.

        I’m out of that dumpster fire now, but I’m still looking for my dream job.

        • BearOfaTime@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          Every large company I’ve worked for (since the mid 90’s) never swept this stuff under the rug - quite the opposite, actually. I’ve seen people with all sorts of issues being accommodated.

          Practically every team I’ve been on had at least one person with some kind of issue. We all knew, and adjusted. Once in a while you get an asshole teammate or manager…those quickly get a reputation and people avoid working with them.

          Companies are painfully aware of risk.

    • CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Life gets a lot easier when you realize you don’t have to answer questions that you don’t want to, and “No” is a complete sentence. Not berating you, just letting you know that you didn’t have to fall for their pressure tactics. Just keep not answering their questions until they give up.

      I hope you’re doing better these days.

      • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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        3 months ago

        Yeah there’s absolutely this feedback loop conditioning where nobody tells us this. And even if we know it, actually putting it into practice is such a mountain.

        I’m vehemently anti-authoritarian, but damn if the “yield to authority” conditioning isn’t shock-collaring me every time some douche in a suit wants to talk to me like I’m a child in trouble.

    • CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 months ago

      I understand that the company is protecting its liability or whatever.

      The company can do that by training your boss not to ask questions related to your health.

    • Promethiel@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Holy fuck. That is beyond the pale, and I’m sorry you had to go through that. Chills thinking how wrong that could go.

    • can@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      Jesus fucking christ, I have nothing to add other than I’m so sorry you went through that.

    • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org
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      3 months ago

      Pretty sure you have clear grounds for a lawsuit on that one. I feel like you’d easily win compensation. (This is my guess. Obviously consult a lawyer ha)

      For future reference though, just keep things high level and say it’s a mental health concern. Or even just a general health issue. NEVER disclose that much information to an employer again.

      But yeah, you should totally file a lawsuit.

      • qarbone@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        As someone who was very mentally fragile years ago, it’s very easy to say “just don’t engage, hang up the phone”. But, when someone is verbally beating you down, it can slip your mind under the pressure.

        OP said they were keeping it high-level but their over-boss kept pressing for specifics. I don’t think they need a reference guide in this instance.

        • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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          3 months ago

          Yeah, not to mention the anxiety of “If I don’t satisfy them with some answer now, they’re gonna drag me into a ‘little talk for a moment’ later that’ll feel like an interrogation.”

          I think we really need workshops on training and resilience on how to talk to bosses and not break under pressure.

          Lord knows these sociopaths have plenty of “management training” on how to coerce, intimidate, and interrogate employees!

        • BearOfaTime@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          That’s why you practice this stuff. It’s the only way to make sure you won’t slip under pressure.

          It’s what I had to do - just make it a natural response. “I’m not well, I won’t be in”. Just keep repeating it, regardless of how many times you’re asked why.

    • BearOfaTime@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      Shit, I’d be calling a lawyer just to put a scare into that boss. Fucking douchebag.

      “I’m not well today, I can’t work, that’s all you fucking need to know”.

      I’ve never had a boss even ask why. Frankly, he should know better…what he doesn’t know he can’t be liable for. Dumbass. Plus who has the time to worry about why? Does it change anything? No.

    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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      3 months ago

      I’ve heard horror stories from truckers that don’t feel safe driving due to exhaustion, and their company literally calls the cops to send them to go knock on the doors of the truck until the driver, who is trying to sleep, wakes up, just to make sure they’re okay.

      Usually followed by their manager basically calling them and telling them to get back on the road.

      This shit happens, and it’s disgusting.

      The next time you see a long haul trucker who doesn’t seem to be able to keep their lane, understand that it’s most likely because their employer is a cunt.

      • MBM@lemmings.world
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        3 months ago

        The fuck, are there no regulations to prevent truckers driving while tired, where you’re from?

        • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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          3 months ago

          I’m not a trucker, I’ve just heard the stories.

          My understanding, which is limited, is that there are limits on how long truckers can stay on the road before mandatory breaks.

          Law, or no law, the management fucks will still fuck around.

    • Emerald@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      If I heard someone was coming to do a wellness check on me, I’d probably immediately start getting everyone out of the house and drive off. I don’t think that would be illegal, would it? Not blaming you, just thinking of what the best action to take in a scenario where you suspected ahead of time there would be cops called on you.

    • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      So while I’m hyperventilating because my boss pressed me for more details than I was comfortable sharing about my health, they sent a man with a gun to my house to check on me.

      I know I shouldn’t have laughed but the way this story unfolded was hilarious.

      • Emerald@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Is $49.99 per hour per SWAT officer a good price? Maybe I could put ads in and lower the price with the ad revenue gained. Maybe we could also implement an AI assistant to answer customers questions.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      you can tell the difference. if it has good writing, it’s more likely to be a meme.

  • Sundial@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    Please tell me this is a joke. I legitimately don’t know if it is or isn’t.

      • NarrativeBear@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Not gona lie, I do like the speed limit leaderboard. Though I would see people trying to get the “high score” on something like this.

        • Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 months ago

          “Go for the high score” is definitely a thought that crosses my mind every time I see one of those speed radar things the police sometimes put on the side of the road that flashes your speed at you. Kinda feel like those things actually encourage unsafe driving because of people like me with impulse control issues.

          • MutilationWave@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            I like when it just flashes two lines at me. For context I’m surrounded by these where nobody has been working for months. I always look ahead to see if anyone is actually working before I blow through them.

            There really needs to be some accountability for turning off the “55 while flashing” lights because so many of those still going off clearly are not supposed to be.

          • Emerald@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Those with impulse control issues that would cause them to drive recklessly “for the memes” shouldn’t have a license

        • Iceblade@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          This was a huge issue with the automated speed signs around where I live. They had to take them down because of it and reprogram them to stop showing the speed and instead flash the speed limit when people were speeding.

        • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Nobody beats my high scores. Nobody.

          E: actually, some trivia. You have seen those “your speed” signs with an led readout? Now I can’t say how I know this, but - at least on some variants, models, etc - there is an upper limit/safety check. “if user’s speed variable is higher than X, turn off the sign, it’s malfunctioning” logic. So, just for a hypothetical situation, the assigned speed limit is 25mph but you go through at, I don’t know, let’s pick a number that is absolutely not what I tested, and say 60. The readout will reach that number as the user accelerates towards it, hit the upper limit, immediately shutoff, and will (afaik) need to be reset manually. Returning hours later reveals a dead readout. Returning a couple days later, oh hey it’s back.

          So we already have this, but it’d be nice to get scores higher than like ~40 over. And history, sharing…

    • Rentlar@lemmy.ca
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      3 months ago

      Definity a fake post. The small text says the cost of the check deducted from the employee’s payroll.

      • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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        3 months ago

        meanwhile useless incompetent middle managers across america are seeing the post and salivating while furiously looking for where to sign up for the service

        • Mirshe@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Tesla might get in some serious trouble in Germany for allegedly doing this to sick employees.

      • Sundial@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        Honestly, based on the stories of what’s happening in America. That’s not a reliable indicator.

      • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        “cost deducted from employee’s payroll” is the most realistic part, IMHO. I worry this joke will give someone ideas IRL. And that part is how they will sell it to CEOs.

        • candybrie@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          That part is currently illegal even in the US. So, baking it into an app would be a bad idea. Most of the time companies do illegal things, they try to be less explicit.

    • Rooki@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I could 100% say this is a possibility in america. ( Except the “we’ll bring her to office” part lol )

    • NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      At least I can tell you that it does not work in my country, where bosses and authorities cannot decide whether or not you are sick, only doctors can.

      • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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        3 months ago

        It’s amazing how low on the ladder American doctors’ opinions are!

        Far below politicians, bosses, and most of all insurance companies, who, as we all know, possess way more hands on medical training. (is /s even needed!? Lol)

          • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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            3 months ago

            My gosh, you’re right. They always say “In my professional medical opinion” or “within a reasonable degree of medical certainty”…I always found it reasonable wording because we’re indeed a litigious society and nobody can be 100% certain…

            … But is a major function of that paradigm just to allow the likes of insurance companies or random senators to say “That’s just like, your opinion, man” at them? :|

            (Effectively: "The Lebowski Shutdown " maneuver)

  • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org
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    3 months ago

    this is funny and reminds me that when you call in sick

    just say you are calling in sick, don’t give any reasons. Fuck them they don’t need to know why

    sometimes mental health days where you just chill and do shit you want to do is a perfectly good sick day

      • MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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        3 months ago

        Hah. Hah.

        Our sick days / PTO were the same pool. Flu or family trip, you still only got “one week’s worth of hours” off per year.

        This was part time, but still insane.

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I had that for two years at my current job. Full time as an engineer with that shit. One year I got a vacation, the next I got covid. These days I’ve got a bit more and we have separate sick time which is very nice

    • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org
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      3 months ago

      I’ve never had a boss EVER that pressed me for information on why I took off sick. That’s completely inappropriate for them to ask.

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldM
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        3 months ago

        Every single employer I had until I was past 30 pressed for reasons when I called in sick. Some required doctor’s notes. Granted, I’m middle aged and lived in a shitty conservative town where employers constantly broke the law and violated employee rights.

        • Moobythegoldensock@lemm.ee
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          Screw those employers. Whenever they send one of their employees in to me to get a note, I give them way more off than they’d normally take.

          You got a cold? The first 5 days suck the most and you’re most contagious during those days, so have 5 days off work. Oh, you only wanted today off and were considering going back tomorrow if you were feeling better? Sucks for your boss, I guess. My medical opinion is based on the disease, not your employee’s self-assessment.

          • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldM
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            3 months ago

            Yes, these were mostly low level blue collar jobs. As much as I hate corporations, sole proprietorships were way worse about violating worker’s rights. They don’t have established policies, HR departments, and all that kind of stuff. They have some rich fucker with a huge ego, and a few managers who are led by said rich fucker, so his attitude trickles down and affects everything. It sucks, especially in a smaller town with limited opportunities.

    • ShinkanTrain
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      3 months ago

      Say you’re shitting your brains out and the only thing coming to work will accomplish is a line for the bathroom and possibly more people shitting their brains out

  • Anderenortsfalsch@discuss.tchncs.de
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    3 months ago

    Nice joke until reality comes along: https://winfuture.de/news,145540.html

    German article translates to:

    The Tesla plant in Grünheide had to accept a record number of sick days, at least in August: Around 17 percent of the 12,000 employees were affected. At the beginning of September, the figure had fallen to around 11 percent, according to a report in the Handelsblatt newspaper. However, this is still comparatively high.

    As a result, the plant management had begun to visit employees on sick leave at home and check on them. Head of HR Erik Demmler was surprised that he was sometimes met with an aggressive attitude, as he explained to Handelsblatt. It had happened that the door had simply been slammed in his face. There were even instances of people threatening to call the police.

    Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

        • bleistift2@sopuli.xyz
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          3 months ago

          There’s no law against visiting someone, even if you’re their boss and they are sick.

          Highly inappropriate, but not illegal IMHO.

          • Jesus_666@lemmy.world
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            It comes across as trying to dissuade people from using their legally guaranteed sick time, though, which makes things iffy.

            • bleistift2@sopuli.xyz
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              3 months ago

              As I said, inappropriate but legal.

              Even if they find you partying in your home, what are they going to do? You got a doctor’s note [for the Americans here: You have to get one and it’s free] saying that you can’t work that day.

  • Juice@midwest.social
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    3 months ago

    I’m glad I was able to intervene when an employee just didn’t show up for a few days, couldn’t get ahold of him. My manager (a good guy) asked me if I thought we should call the cops for a wellness check, I told him we couldn’t call the cops on a disabled black guy.

    Not sure what went down with him but he ended up calling in and he was okay. He either quit shortly after or never came back, I don’t remember. Last I heard he was pursuing his passion teaching skiing to kids with cancer and disabilities. Cool dude.

    • garbagebagel@lemmy.world
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      Yeah my first thought seeing this was “oh that person is gonna get killed if they send the cops”. Glad you had some smarts there. There have been multiple indigenous people killed in wellness checks in Canada as well in recent weeks.

  • sevan@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    I used to work for a call center that had an automated call out system, so you didn’t have to talk to anyone or give a specific excuse. However, at some point management instituted a policy requiring supervisors to call their employees to “check in on their wellbeing.” I don’t even have to be cynical to know the real purpose because I was in the meetings where they talked about it as a tactic to reduce absenteeism.

    • Paddzr@lemmy.world
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      Surely you didn’t have to answer, if your policy is “do X to call in sick”. You’re just putting your phone to silent to rest.

      • sevan@lemmy.ca
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        3 months ago

        That would be my response, but a lot of people can be guilt tripped into coming in to work anyway.

        • Etterra@lemmy.world
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          Jokes on them, I stopped being vulnerable to guilt tripping at 17. I guess my alcoholic abusive mother was good for something after all.

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          3 months ago

          I’m off all next week for my 10th anniversary and really mainly to take care of a bunch of shit I can’t do because I’m always working… So anyway I’m working Monday.

  • umbrella
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    3 months ago

    this aint funny though more like depressing

  • aquinteros@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    wellness checks are deducted from her payroll??? is this legal ? the us labor laws are weird man

  • Boozilla@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    My employer generally sucks, but one of the few things they do right is give us no-questions-asked PTO. Nobody cares if we take a day, it’s part of our compensation.

  • zephorah@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    Standing too close to occurring in the near future to qualify as funny.