As a kid, I learned to “pause” my true self. School was the pause, and my hobbies, dreams, and passions were the unpause—something I’d rush back to during lunch or after class.
Over time, the pauses got longer. Tiredness and responsibilities crept in, leaving little energy to unpause at the end of some days.
At work, sometimes the pressure and the demands were so relentless that I couldn’t unpause for weeks or months at a time.
Then came marriage, fatherhood, and the joy—and work—of raising a child.
I want my son to get to know the real me but I worry that by the time he is grown I won’t have any “self” to unpause to.
my father was this way - i didnt get to know the real him until i was in my mid-late 20’s. though i think its great that he can be himself again, there is a bit of resentment that i didnt mean enough to him to stop working for once and interact with me on a human level while growing up.
we arent super close, but we are friendly to each other. having slightly less money by working less and spending more time with the kid would mean you have to find some free things to do… #worth
there has been a meme making the rounds about “if you work really hard this could be you” with a picture of a gravestone saying you worked hard. dont be that guy <3