Wtf, it’s some kind of magical elixir you’re supposed to dribble directly onto your dick 
Every detail about this ad is so fucking funny, from the roaring wolfman to the text.
AliExpress is a Wild West of shady medical products like these. Why does Elon Musk spend tens of thousands on hair plugs when he could buy a Chinese remedy that would give him a full mane of hair in a week for 10 bucks
“Incredibly dubious” can we leave the editorializing out of this? Just the facts please
I’m sorry I besmirched the reputation of the good folks behind ENLARGE PENIS 😔
if only all product names were this blunt and to the point
Its “to the point” alright
eeeeeyo
It definitely works, but only for werewolves
Me when I take this
That wolf isn’t roaring, he’s howling in pain because that shit burns
I was thinking it would be really funny if the liquid in the bottle was just tabasco or something
Wasp venom. The enlargement effect only works if you’re allergic.
There was a story about a dude who shot up bull erection stimulant in a night club and had tremendous pain but I can’t find it.
She, actually. Didn’t even want a penis, spilled it on her thigh so its all off center too…
Rip 😭
She can’t run anymore. Not because its too heavy or gets in the way, but because one of her legs doesn’t get enough blood anymore. She’s going to die if she ever gets less than three hours a day of cardio.
38 centimeters in two hours seems incredibly painful
Not just for the grower. Imagine being so porn-brained that this seems reasonable.
I was just thinking that with the advent of ai porn, i bet people are starting to get bespoke sexual complexes not even crafted by human hands
😨
my dick split open and locusts flew out!
Bloody hell, that lens flare
: “And to you Frodo Baggins, I give the light of Eärendil our most beloved star. May it be a-Wait, what are you doing? NO! THAT’S NOT WHAT IT’S FOR!”This is like the perfect PPB equivalent to drop on anyone whose solutions are more deregulation
159 added to cart
THE FREE MARKET HAS SPOKEN
spoiler
It’s actually pretty depressing
The number is almost certainly made up
A lot of shopping websites have some javascript to invent a random number of people who are either looking at the item, or have added it to their cart
The smart ones will tie it to a cookie so if you refresh the number doesn’t go down but only up
I’m gonna buy some and use it to water my plants, let’s see what happens.
Experiment idea: Buy this as well as the hair growth and boob growth remedies along with that weird contraption that’s supposed to make your butt bigger from AliExpress and apply liberally until you look like a Chewbacca shaped like Nicki Minaj with a dick that drags on the ground
Someone else can do that. I don’t wanna end out in a The Fly style situation
This is body horror
let’s see what happens
Blue ribbon winning eggplants, zucchinis, and cucumbers
I think I ‘read’ this hentai. Set up cameras.
38cm? Why would I want to downgrade?
This was a plot in the Harley Quinn episode we watched last night. Bane took some magic elixir for a bigger schlong then fucked a bunch of buildings to death.
then fucked a bunch of buildings to death.
Did they steal that bit idea from Oglaf? (NSFW) If so, that’s actually impressive.
Damn beat me to it
Wait, do I become a wolf man, a bull man or just a regular bull with an enormous penis? Only one way to find out I guess.
Please wolf please wolf please wolf
why would I want such a significant reduction in length?
why would you want penis that big?
Because:
- young men are bombarded with internet pornography from childhood which idolizes and selects for enormous penises,
- we as a culture embrace body-shaming tropes like “big/small dick energy”,
- people are more online and less IRL-social than ever and thus less likely to have affirming sexual or social experiences (e.g. seeing normal penises on other boys in a locker room),
- and our society is still so puritanical and weird about sex that no young man is having a conversation with his parents about how to process all this information to maintain a positive body image,
so they conclude that in order to be a valid man they must have an enormous penis
Genuinely wish thought countering this would enter mainstream thought. I don’t want my partner to have a huge dick. I like to not feel like I’m being bisected at my vagina. I also don’t enjoy the feeling of someone bottoming out in me. Just learn how to treat women. Seriously.
You forgot:
- When your back just isn’t flexible enough anymore to perform autofellatio because it’s getting too difficult to reach. A couple of inches can make all the difference here, and prevent spinal injury. We should be thankful that these entrepreneurs are out there looking out for aging former gymnasts and goth rock singers.
this is the kind of content that I scroll for. a true masterpiece.
This is the kinda thing that needs to be on billboards
big penis
“Too big to hold” sounds like a negative if the point is to enjoy sex with your enlarged hog
Penises aren’t for sex, they’re ornamental.
Also reminds me of that X-Files with the genie
Guy wished for his dick to be so big he died when he got a stiffy because it took all the blood from the rest of his body
Lol that’s like a more extreme version of that Robin Williams bit
Great episode of a good show
Maybe it’s a translation issue and they meant hold as in “contain”.
This should be the next “I voted” sticker
![[CW: Incredibly dubious penis enlargement medication] This ad is art](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/847fe29c-00cf-44c8-9b81-7ce19431b1e0.jpeg){kind=link}