I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.
I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.
These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.
As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.
I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?
I’ll add one more point.
Not just cause of age, but people disregard feeling when they don’t find it comfortable with. People want to be treated in someway and don’t want you feel in other shape or form.
Which is another reason why we tame/shape our feelings abiding by the social norms.
I used to be over friendly in my 20s. That behaviour isn’t appreciated in professional relationships. I had to change my attitude towards people overtime and stop emphathizing with them, to a certain degree.
It is certainly a matter of environment and peers you had around you, not age.