Hey Folks!

I’ve been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here’s a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there’s a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don’t know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don’t tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

  • hotspur@lemm.eeEnglish
    5·
    1 year ago

    Culturally, there will be people who will look down on or say nasty things to you if they find out you do not/did not tip. This happened to me.

    Emphasis mine. You said you don’t tip, and you are stating that they wouldn’t be in the wrong for not tipping. Just because you don’t outright say they shouldn’t tip, doesn’t mean it isn’t heavily implied by your wording.

    We can agree that tipping should be eliminated, but if you knowingly go to a restaurant where your waiter requires tips to make a living wage, and you don’t, you are most certainly AH. The solution is to not go to these restaurants.

          • NathanUpEnglish
            1·
            1 year ago

            Now I’m confused… you just told me that you always tip. If that’s the case, then there’s definitely no ad hominem here because the comment was directed at those who don’t tip, right?

          • NathanUpEnglish
            2·
            1 year ago

            if you knowingly go to a restaurant where your waiter requires tips to make a living wage, and you don’t, you are most certainly AH

            …was the full quote. Even if we accept that this is ad hominem, you would have to engage in the described behavior for it to be so, which certainly doesn’t hurt their argument that you implied people shouldn’t tip.

              • NathanUpEnglish
                2·
                1 year ago

                Agreed. They shouldn’t have to, but surely we can agree that if you’re going out to have a nice time, made possible by someone who you know to be greviously exploited, that it would be cruel and unfair to deny them their only real source of income? Under those conditions, surely going to a restaurant at all is immoral unless you exchange the worker’s labor appropriately, whether or not this obligation should befall you in an ideal world? Surely we can agree that in that moment, you are the one who decides if that worker will receive the income they need for food, clothing, healthcare, and housing, and if you will not provide it in return for your evening of leisure, it would have been better if you had stayed home and allowed that table to be occupied by someone who would choose to fairly compensate that worker?