Hi,

I’m at that point in life where I’m facing big changes/having to take decisions for the first time and I’m scared.

I’ll soon be starting an internship abroad with a good company and, silly to say, I’m getting cold feet. I’m scared of the move and about the future - at the possibility that I’ll like it and want to go there, and leave the people here behind.

I’m also scared that my partner wouldn’t want to come with me if that were the case. They say they aren’t sure yet. I understand, but it still makes me feel anxious for the future. I would hate to be in the situation where I would have to choose between a good job and losing my partner. It’s so silly writing this down.

I think I’m just rambling and could use someone older to give me some advice about the way their life went. I dont really have older role models around, I’m on my own with this one. I guess that’s part of the problem. I’m full of internal conflict, on so many topics at once - from practical life direction to things like philosophical/ideological matters.

Thanks for reading this. Hope life is kind to you.

  • aeon_flux@sh.itjust.worksOP
    3·
    2 years ago

    I might have worded things a bit poorly - it’s not only about the internship (I’ll be going, of course) but more about things changing and trying to decide between paths(do I move abroad or do I stay where I am? do I even like my field as a job? what do I value/want from life? et. al.) im not sure how to handle not having a streamlined path ahead anymore.

    • hallettj@beehaw.org
      2·
      2 years ago

      I think when you’re in your (I’m guessing) early -or-mid-20s there is a tendency to underestimate how much time you have ahead of you. Whatever you decide, it’s not a lifetime commitment. Take a job, work there for a year, or a few years. If it turns out it’s not for you, you’ve gained experience, you’ve learned new things about yourself, and you still have plenty of time to transition to something different.

      There will be a time when you understand yourself and what you want much better. For me that was maybe my mid-30s. The only way to get there is to try things, and see what happens. I suggest making choices that lead to new experiences, such as travel. That gives you new ways to learn about yourself, and more chances to run into something that really grabs your interest.

    • nodsocket@lemmy.world
      11·
      2 years ago

      Yeah, I know that feeling. It’s scary to go “off the rails” and have to make tough decisions without an external guide. Here is some advice that I was given that I found really helpful: just stay on your current trajectory until the situation becomes unbearable. If you leave too early, you’ll have regrets, so it’s better to wait until the right decision becomes obvious. For you I guess, that would mean staying in your current career path and just seeing how far you can go.

      As for worrying about finding yourself, I wouldn’t get too deep into it became there isn’t a clear answer for anyone. The important questions are: 1) what do you want right now? (friends, hobbies, SO) and 2) what are you pretty sure you’ll need in the future (money, education, etc)? The answer to both will also change as time goes by.