Hi my fellow Lemmy users! It’s been a while since I used this platform and boy did I actually miss you all ❤️

It’s just that I’ve been more so focusing on myself in my career and in my own education. So I graduated back in June and man it sure does feel like a lifetime ago already. Settled in a good paying job and still trying to improve myself wherever I can.

This brings us to the question that I wanted to ask everyone here. As I’ve been very focused on academics and career stuff I never had the opportunity to date and I’ve been rejected very frequently (which is to be expected as a man tbh). I haven’t been able to lose weight and that I’m 25 years old.

I know that’s still pretty young but I still feel so behind on dating tbh. Is it still too late for me to find someone I want to be with after I’ve lost weight? Does losing weight help for men as it does for women? I’ve been trying to join meetups, volunteering (just to meet new people tbh) and really put myself out there. It’s just idk like all my friends are committed and I’m just floating around life whilst focusing on my career.

  • @alphapro784OP
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    13 months ago

    I guess my type of woman (well looks like wise white American) is someone who’s just kind and caring also who’s more extroverted tbh. I mean I do like someone who takes care of themselves (I’m trying to do that just ya know struggling but not like I gave up on it) and someone who wants a long term relationship that will lead to marriage.

    Basically my type is someone who shares the same western ideals as I do (I grew up Muslim but not anymore and I’m brown as well) and someone who’s liberal I guess if that helps.

    • @rosymind@leminal.space
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      23 months ago

      Gotcha. Lessee. My husband is part Korean, part various Hispanic, and I’m mostly white (born in South Africa so I have a spattering of various ethnicities given that my ancestors were sailors to some degree).

      Husband (who also has a strong, white, preference) says that generally women tend to want to stay in their ethnic group, while men are more likely to want someone outside their ethnic group. I’m not certain on the validity of that, since where I live there is a whole lot of variation in couples.

      Either way, that might be adding to your challenges! It also depends on your area. Where I live there are plenty of mixed couples, but if you’re in a state where people tend to stay within their ethnic groups that’s gonna be a lot harder

      Finding someone who has your exact beliefs is also extremely difficult. I never would have guessed I would marry someone like my husband. He leans conservative, while I lean liberal (for example).

      But what I meant is: if you like a sporty woman, going to the gym is where you might find one. If you like an artsy woman, take a random art class at a community College. If you like an out-going woman, you’ll want to check your area for “fun things to do”. If what you want is an introvert who plays DnD, then try to find a DnD group. Try to figure out what interests the women you want will have- and then go there.

      Keep in mind this will take time. You have to be friends with them first (for long term relationships) and then work your way into their hearts/minds/panties from there.

      And side note, you could easily be friend zoned. But, with luck, she might have a single friend who she’d think you’d be perfect with :)

      • @alphapro784OP
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        13 months ago

        Hey thanks for saying that. I was thinking of maybe joining a therapeutic riding volunteering place cause I noticed that there tends to be a lot more girls there and I might be wrong could be a wrong assumption but hey at least I’ll be able to ride on a horse on to the sunset lol.