cross-posted from: https://lemmy.perthchat.org/post/184069

All I found with citations was that it’s best to wait until marriage before cohabitation, but that boomer talk ain’t gonna happen for zoomers.

Otherwise, 1 article said “wait as long as possible” but I need a month/year number lmao.

  • thalamus_reborn
    2·
    1 year ago

    apologies, i didn’t provide any citation for that. also, i may have misinterpreted the purpose of this community. i spent about 6 years in college learning about psychology and neuroscience, and we commonly discuss topics such as these. it’s common to disagree and cite different sources (which again, sorry for not doing that originally), so i figured that in a community such as this, we could continue in the spirit of debate in good faith.

    this isn’t a primary source, but here’s a Psychology Today post from 2021 which supports my claim.

    In that article, it mentions a 2019 Stanford study (appears to be a review) which points to benefits of cohabitation, but only within the first year. please take a look at the table on page 36, which i believe shows the overall divorce rate is lower for those who do not cohabitate.

    i understand your concern about welcoming people. perhaps the first part of my comment was too harsh. but like i said at the end of comment, it’s just my two cents. and i’ll add that it’s not even advice that i myself follow. i just wanted to provide insight on the data that i was/am aware of. if i’m wrong, i’m happy to be proven wrong. i just want to see the numbers.

      • thalamus_reborn
        1·
        1 year ago

        like i said, may have gone too hard on that. but i think the sentiment remains the same. maybe i went at it the wrong way initially because of the “boomer talk” phrase - that makes me think that OP is saying “i don’t need to hear anything that will contradict my original premise, i just need for someone to give me a number”.

        i’m not trying to be rude, i’m just calling it like i see it - if you need a number of months to make yourself feel ok about making a decision, then i see it as looking for validation. we all do it - my point was that if you want to make a big decision like this, you need to feel ok with it. you don’t need someone on the internet to say “yep, looks good to me based on arbitrary criteria”.

        and to reiterate what i already said, i’m just reporting the facts that i’m aware of. i’m not even saying that you shouldn’t move in with someone, just saying “you should be aware of the statistics surrounding this issue”.