i provide a couple of links below in a response. i’ve heard this topic debated for years, but those two links were just recent output.

i agree that it makes sense that testing the waters before marriage would be good, but i think that it creates a difference in expectations for the relationship going forward. i think that, at least for some portion of the population, marriage is a true “do-or-die” decision, so once the vows are said, some things might start changing in the relationship dynamic. in terms of cohabitating, it could a difference in how finances are handled before and after marriage, or how household responsibilities are divided in the new era.

so my point is that cohabitating could create a false sense of security within the relationship. and i say that with the expectation that we all struggle with communication, especially in romantic relationships.