Mormonism is… MLM?
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Own your own universe!! All you gotta do is buy some galaxies from the next person up in your group, and resell them to the next business partners in your chain, use the proceeds to fund keeping some of that universe for yourself!
I love the idea of a self-contained bit of heaven for each person. It’s so quintessentially American.
‘Could heaven be a blissful place for everyone, together?’
No! This is my bit of heaven only! Get off my lawn!
I imagine Mormon heaven is just full of people shooting each other over tree law and fence boundaries, again and again in an eternal cycle.
Mormon heaven is actually tiered. There’s the very best heaven that’s alongside God, and the two lesser heavens for people that aren’t quite good enough for it.
Mormon Valhalla but it’s lawn hoa tyrants battling for eternity is a good bit
I mean I wouldn’t want to share heaven with most religious people tbh
It only makes sense that the only major religion to be born in America (I’m not counting all those splinter sects of weirdo evangelical branches) would have becoming a small business entrepreneur start-up of godliness at the core of its theology.
Right, Mormons are the American equivalent of Roman Catholics for Rome, the synthesis of Christianity with its imperial context taken to its logical end
but wasn’t scientology created in america too?
I wouldn’t call Scientology a major religion. No credibly survey or source has ever put Scientology membership globally higher than five figures, whereas the LDS says they have 17 million members worldwide. Which may be inflated, but even if they’re padding the numbers a bit that’s still hundreds of times larger than Scientology.
Scientology is good at being noisy and intimidating and having famous members, but it’s never translated into a real mass movement religion.
yeah but that one is just slavery
i mean so is mormonism lol
do you think those guys just really like sleeveless shirts
i didn’t know they had those!
Don’t forget the whole part about Jesus coming to the United States on a magic submarine, so technically the land belongs to white people because Native people are red because they’re tainted by the devil
This to not to be confused with black people being black because of the Curse of Ham
Jesus teleported here, it was the jaredites that came in the submarine
Because Ham refused to look at his dad’s naked body while he was taking a bath, got it.
Yes, the Curse of Ham is not a curse related to cured pork products. That’s an Italian curse related to the story of St. Anthony of Soprano.
[gabagool intensifies]
Thought it was the Mark of Cain
That made the first vampire
Wait no, that’s Vampire: The Masquerade
It’s also funny because once you know that, you can see the effect on Brandon Sanderson’s cosmere books
That and the effect magic has on the body is how someone who is banned from having caffeine would describe coffee
Yes.
Mormon religion is utterly bizarre, and the only stranger thing is that they’ve found legitimacy amongst Christian Fascists. I suppose Utah was so remote that by the time there was strength to deal with them the will to do so had faded.
I saw some kids who had been kidnapped by their Mormon family rescued the other day so there’s still some power they haven’t completely bought
I had a vision for my planet and it still fucks, thousands of nerds would be beating down my door for the rights to make a walking sim if only they knew
If I was god I would let my worshipers drink hot drinks for starters.
This banger was shown right after the anti-union training video.
Who needs heath insurance when hot drinks really get you going?
Wtf this song is actually good
Sent from Mdewakanton Dakota lands / Sept. 29 1837
Treaty with the Sioux of September 29th, 1837
“We Will Talk of Nothing Else”: Dakota Interpretations of the Treaty of 1837
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
If you ever want to re-open a 2,000 year-old argument, ask Mormons why they believe nontrinitarians can be Christians
Abrahamic Gods HATE This One Simple Trick
they are firm believers in tax exemptions for religious organizations
Removed by mod
I know a Mormon who recently started working for doterra
Maybe they’re born with it
Maybe it’s Maybelline.
It explains a few things.
you too can become a god of your own little universe,
Wait, I’m confused, are you… Are you saying Haruhi Suzumiya is a dead Mormon?
Sent from Mdewakanton Dakota lands / Sept. 29 1837
Treaty with the Sioux of September 29th, 1837
“We Will Talk of Nothing Else”: Dakota Interpretations of the Treaty of 1837
That would explain the scam that was season 2.
