My thoughts are the dead guy shouldn’t get to decide how they’re grieved cause you’re dead and the people who feel like grieving together should just like…not do a whole ritual thing. But since the whole ritual thing is what would be decided for me if my parents outlive me, I need a contingency plan. I will make my funeral wishes absolutely impossible to tske seriously but also legally binding so it’s either no funeral or the dumbest shit anyone has ever been to. So far I’ve got thar I want it held in a bouncy castle, and that representatives of as many religions as they can get to do their funeral stuff at the same time and to only play Bolt Thrower
can you book the dancing pallbearers
I can hold the funeral until they can make it
Demand your rotted corpse be flung by trebuchet at a prominent government building
Lawyer would say ‘no, that is iillegal as fuck’
‘no, that is iillegal as fuck’
<— ur lawyerliterally who cares how illegal it is. you’re already dead? what are they gonna do? give you a life sentence? it’s already over
The layer would care. He is a nerd but I’d also be dead, so he’d be holding all.the cards. He could just cross thst part out if he wanted. What would my family do sue him?
I have a little money set aside for catering and hiring a rave promoter to hype up my funeral.
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Have a moment of silence while playing Derude’s Sandstorm
“I always wanted to see Derude in concert, but never made it. Please respect my wishes.”
I’ll even spell it Derude and not the guy’s real fake name Darude
Go full Limewire and throw in that clip of Bill Clinton
Ooh! Hire a Bill Clinton impersonator to sit in the front row, weep uncontrollably, sing Ave Maria beautifully and leave without speaking to anyone.
secretly tell one person (not in your will) that you request a group of total strangers attend the funeral and tell made up stories to the whole crowd. these people are not allowed to attend any post-memorial service events and are not to contact any other attendants to the funeral.
Good call, and doable
bare knuckle boxing contest for the rest of your money. also have a bunch of roleplayers act as characters from a TV show you hate
That would just be funding a post mortem Bum Fight.
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Like…no. A decent amount of my friends are homeless or pretty close to it and have been. Making them fight over the absolute pittamce I could toss down (less than $1000 if my stuff was sold) would be pretty gross.
Hire a bunch of guys to sit quietly at the back like this
Scoop out any organs that can be donated and then barbecue the rest. Have signs outside saying if anyone’s ever been curious about long pig, they’re probably not gonna get another chance.
Make a playlist of songs you think will really broaden their horizons and they have to listen to the whole thing at your funeral no talking just sitting and listening.
Ewww, no. I do like these people, I’m just trying to force a no funeral situation. They might do that and I don’t wanna hog the aux cord from beyond the grave and play weak tunes. It’s Judas Priest and Bolt Thrower all funeral
Sick can I get on the guest list?
Generally funerals don’t have invites, you just kinda show up
Which is why yours should have a highly exclusive guest list.
Friends and family? Lame. Celebs and stars? Hell yeah 😎
Good call
Hell yeah, time to go listen to The Killchain
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Instead of a priest have a speaker that broadcasts “the revolution will not be televised” with a sick drop. This is when the whole thing turns into a rave, and everyone has to show up dressed as their favourite communist.
Loss is sad. Better to party and celebrate life together, at least for one night.
You seen Andor, the (best/only good) Star War? Do that.
Might be really outside of the budget
Just record a speech, you don’t even have to pay for the pipe bomb
I at least need someone playing the anvil
I’d say donating your body to a college that’s good about recognizing Palestine could do a lot of good. I think allowing a viewing and then doing a very low carbon funeral could be good. Like not getting embalmed would be cheap and leave your family too financially be okay.
I’d say ensure your pronouns and identifying traits are visible and written down legally could be another thing to consider.
I have personal opinions, but I hope this is a good start…
