Also, if you just enjoy the research part, where’s the harm in that?

As far as the phone: me too. Removing apps can help. Put it out of your field of view. Stuff like that. Still it’s super hard

Honestly I don’t know. Keep in mind it’s also the “type” you have as well. My type is mixed, and I’m fortunate enough to have a “high IQ” (according to the assessment, I know it’s a troublesome metric, please don’t shoot me lol) so that may play into it as well.

I have similar hobbies, and I always feel better engaging with them. But, sometimes that also wasn’t enough. I would have to yell internally or externally “Jesus Christ rando895” to push through the dysfunction, and it worked less and less as I got older.

People can recommend so many strategies to work on things that are difficult (prep food ahead of time, let yourself order out once or twice a week, etc.) but that may or may not work for you, and ultimately I think you (me as well) have to try a bunch of different things to see what works, and never stop trying new things. It’s also sort of a hack to let your brain seek new interesting things to get the sweet feel good chemicals lol.

As far as the meds, most of what I’ve said is me trying to piece together my feelings and observations:

My brain is quieter, sort of. I am far more eloquent when I speak, and much more clear. I think this is indicative of better focus, memory, and brain function.

There is almost never a wall of molasses I need to move my thoughts through to do simple tasks like the dishes or sweeping.

So I guess what happens, is if I, say, pull out my phone to dissociate for a bit, I might realize “I really don’t need to do this, I’m fine” and can usually stop. Then, that leads to the thoughts “wow, was that a coping mechanism?”.

Another example:

Hyper fixation (and impulsivity) on upgrading my computer. The coping mechanism (I didn’t know until recently) was this:

I really want to upgrade my computer (this means it WILL happen).

So, I would research everything about the games, performance, what is the best upgrade, where are the better prices, etc. This forced me to not spend money impulsively. But, it’s exhausting and takes up so much time.

Recognizing this now it’s a bit different:

“I want to upgrade my computer.” But then I think " But why? My games and apps work fine. " And that is basically the end of it, usually.

Meds aren’t perfect and this has been my experience and attempts at understanding my situation. If it helps, I was diagnosed a few months ago, recently started meds, and I’m in my 30’s.

Ohh, and information dumps are still (clearly) a thing that I frequently engage in lol. I hope it’s at least a little useful.

Yes it has. But I’ve always been reasonably social. However, it was always hard to take that first step to be social.

For me, the barriers imposed by executive dysfunction (even outside socializing ) have been greatly reduced, and usually I am not completely wiped after socializing, even in a difficult situation.

Also, if I need to pop to the store, I basically just go now.

Vyvanse is what I’m prescribed btw.

One big issue is I have brain space to care about things again, but also so many disruptive coping mechanisms that I didn’t realize I had. So for the last 6 weeks (how long I’ve been on it) life has been a flurry of doing things to the point of exhaustion, and working through old strategies and replacing them with new ones.

Inattentiveness, hyperactivity, impulsivity, those are all still things I deal with. But, I am able to identify it and work through it now.

And for me (not the same for everyone) I have basically no side effects, other than my body is a bit hot, but that was always the case anyway.

So along these lines, I went to my first pride parade ever, and served as security. The parade was marshalled by the local Palestine solidarity group, and we were briefed about possible people who may case issue.

We were ready for basically anything.

No one showed up spouting hate or Zionism (well one Zionist but they ran away when we started recording them). The only issue was a cop tried to stop the “from the river to the sea” chant. Unsuccessfully because someone in the parade had babysat his kids a bunch, and the guy with the megaphone yelled “He’s trying to say we can’t chant from the river to the sea. What do we think of that!”

And the parade chanted it sooooo much louder. The people lining the streets (maybe 50%?) chanted along with the Palestinian group.

Still, not hate.

The point is, the hate we see is largely manufactured. And those spouting it are often cowards. Real people care about rights and liberation.

Duuude some of those are cool looking :( we really need to work on the aesthetics of the left.

Or like, co-co-opt some of these so they lose all meaning/coolness from the perspective of the right

I prefer to call it democracy with American characteristics.

I think they are fun lol.

But Skyrim needs a new civil war mod. One where the people take power from the jarls. Call it, I dunno, “Civil war: the red army uprising”.

Yeah, the meme leaves out the part where they want to destroy Gaza so that they can rebuild on it for themselves without those pesky Indians. I mean Palestinians.

Yeah, and it’s fully legal for them to take any money you have and claim it’s related to drug money (even if you’re a citizen). You can always get it back if you fight for it but…

Don’t bring things with you that you don’t want taken from you (unless you have to).

Tbh, anyone who believes israel has a right to exist then has the burden of proving why Palestine doesn’t have the right to exist, or why Palestines right to exist is superseded by israel’s right to exist.

All these questions really distract from the problem (settler colonialism, neo colonialism, imperialism, and of course the CEO of all this, Capitalism), but for someone well spoken, may be good places to introduce doubt in the status quo for folks.

STOP RESISTING! beats with stick HES COMING RIGHT FOR US! shoots.

Then because it’s America you could probably send a bill to Israel for your service right? Kind of like washing the shit off someone’s car window.

It’s almost entirely because of second thought, Deprogram, and leftist YouTube that I developed the language I needed to understand the way things are, and was able to find books that I should read.

And even more important, have been doing praxis with local comrades.

A dissenting voice is incredibly important, and to believe that any positive change can come from a few thousand principled people in the west is absurd.

People watch idiot lib shit all the time, look how many of those exist.

You’re right. They should let a warmongering group point their missiles at them without recourse. If you ignore it, they will go away. Right?

The ability to focus… I got wrapped up in writing a dnd campaign that should have been a one shot… 4 hours later and no food and it turned into a 5 session campaign…

I don’t think it’s ever been done before. So I think a precedent needs to be set first before the question can be properly addressed.

Skip a step, just put your gonads into a pot of boiling water

Fitnotes is great. Free but you can pay a one-time “supporter fee” to get slightly expanded functionality. Its on android, not sure about apple.

It ticks all your boxes, except open-source. But you can export all your data

I always wondered where those vending machines in Borderlands came from…

Instead of a priest have a speaker that broadcasts “the revolution will not be televised” with a sick drop. This is when the whole thing turns into a rave, and everyone has to show up dressed as their favourite communist.

Loss is sad. Better to party and celebrate life together, at least for one night.

I heard a cousin of mine say some vague shit about “things being bad”, and “soon they’re going to get worse, probably for 2 or 4 years, but hopefully they get better after that”. This was in the middle of one of his gay/trans/immigrant/racist rants. (Why are these people so obsessed with genitals btw)

It was clear he was talking about 2025.

So, I think the difference is now the right is more organized, and have more people ready to be mobilized, so it’s much easier to make this shit happen.

This is a lesson for us. Organizing and mobilizing make everything easier to accomplish