God the edible is hitting me so hard I saw this post here and was like “holy shit this is so funny I need to post this to Hexbear immediately”
Many such cases
My edible is also hitting. What does this mean?
It means I’m about to eat the fuck out of this biryani and watch one piece
Godspeed, comrade
Im so incredibly jealous, my favorite indian restaurant is closed rn and I cant get any 😔
imma go down town and find the mushroom chocolate lady. Yall need to get on my level.
I thought this was a sexual thing at first.
you’ve never “found the mushroom chocolate lady”?
A few times, she spit in my mouth once.
Wait, what are we talking about?
This is bait, Germans are annoyingly obsessed with baked goods (or i guess boiled in that case) and ofc you can get bagles here.
The joke is that bagels were invented by Jewish people from Poland and Germany is Nazis. When I google ‘german bagels’, every website and reddit post that I see says that bagels are rare in Germany.
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They originated in that general region from the Jewish populations there living under Euro-imposed apartheid systems. What is currently Poland, Belarus, Czhech Republic, Slovakia, Ukraine, Hungary
Mom said we can’t have any, too spicy.
I don’t understand bagels actually. Why put a whole in a sandwich?? It’s just worse ergonomics than a regular sandwich! I’m sure it’s some capitalist shenanigans to trick people into thinking it’s cool and containing more food than it actually does
idk but everything bagels with cream cheese are fucking delicious
Come and take it commies
This post made by bagel gang
Yes
cream cheese
A hole going thru the part that would be the furtherst away from the heat makes the whole thing to cook faster, allowing more production with the same capital and labor and shit, so, yeah
But it would made sense from a comunist planning perspective too, cuz it’s more energy and labor efficient
More quickly and more evenly: you don’t end up with an overcooked outside and undercooked center.
Making it way more efficient. Its funny how when you look into things you find human ingenuity and not just “eh capitalists probably did it for no reason”.
Ring shaped bread predates capitalism by at least 300 years. It’s just more efficient to make in certain cases.
Bagels are boiled before they’re baked, which gives them a chewier texture that toasts really well. It’s an entirely different thing to just regular toast or bread.
Source: AYYY I’M WALKIN’ HYEER
Agreed
Souece: AHHHHH! JE MARCHE ICI, CALICE TABERNAK!
SALUT MES TABARNAK
Montreal is a hell of a place. One of my favorite events was drinking in a park and this older lady comes up to us and says ‘Ahllo, ave you seen my son? Eeh eez dis tall. Eeh ahs mo-awk. And eeh ees on PCP. Non? Ah, merci! Anarchie!’
Well you know how when you take a bite, cream cheese comes out of the sides and ruins the sandwich? The hole is there so it can escape in even more directions.
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Volcel police
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
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A bagel is not a sandwich and you suck at topology.
it’s so bagel salesmen can string them around their necks before walking to the marketplace
It’s a thicc bit of dough and the hole is for surface area when baking. Otherwise you’d either get a raw center or burned edges. Also they’re not just bread rings, bagels are a different process which involves boiling the dough prior to baking and other stuff depending on the region (Montreal bagels>NY bagels btw). They’re not really intended as sandwich material and that’s a more recent use for bagels, that being said I fuckinf love a bagel sandwich.
Bagels are boiled, so I assume it has something to do with that
It makes it cook more evenly and also I think medieval bakes used to transport bread on wooden racks so bread with holes were more of a thing back then cuz you could easily stick them on the pegs. Pretzels and donuts also have holes in them. But I’m not a historian so maybe I’m talking out my ass
Edit: Some guy on
has a more comprehensive explanation.More shapes more fun
I had heard they were made to put them on poles so the kids who all ran around the streets selling them could carry more. I figure a pole of bagels sticking up above the crowd would also kinda self-advertise. Might be bullshit though.
it’s just hard donut that allows you to put a spread on it
It’s fun! You good make the exact same thing as batons but why have a bread baton when you can have a CIRCLE?
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This is called “Sękacz” in Polish and there are few different kinds, from a mild ambrosia that will turn your mouth into small piece of heaven to a literal dwarven battle bread that will break teeth and skulls.
Ok, but why the hole?
Well if you try to eat the latter variant
Nothing brings me closer to heaven than a warm cinnamon bagel with a nice strawberry cream cheese
Emo Philips bit from 1985
Edit: Apparently he was still using it in his routine in the 2010s: https://youtu.be/xywEDvBTzM0?t=156 | https://invidious.fdn.fr/watch?v=xywEDvBTzM0&t=156
Do people here like when they smother lots of cream cheese on? I personally do but know people who get agitated by it.
I make my own at home cause I have vegan cream cheese there. The grocery store near me sells it and it’s actually a buck cheaper than the dairy stuff. However in my bagel ordering days, it never seemed to be just the right amount. It was either like a tablespoon thick or you could see the bread through it thin. You want like 2mm of thickness.id prefer they go with too much cause I can always scrape it off
Vegan cream cheese yeah. And I warm the bagel in the toaster but don’t actually toast it. Turns out great.
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thank god at least some rules are upheld on ‘people’ saying this bullshit
What did they say? I don’t know how a conversation about cream cheese could get controversial
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big smear small smear just let me make a bagel sandwich for chrissakes
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Bagels are just a vehicle for cream cheese and other toppings.
