My favorite line is “Discussing this may result in immediate dismissal” -> Please process the grief from this workplace in an unpaid, convenient, isolated manner, thanks.

it is important that we don’t let our productivity slide. I think it is fair to say ---- wouldn’t have wanted that.

If I die, for future reference. Yes I do want that. All my coworkers get a two week vacation, that is what I want.

A few years ago I was frequenting a Subway restaurant and I slowly became acquainted with the employés there. One of the workers told me that he got a call back when he was working at Taco John’s, learned that his son was either dying or already dead (I can’t remember which), and he was getting ready to leave until his boss threatened to fire him if he walked out the door. He told his boss something like, ‘You can go ahead and fire me because I’m not gonna miss my son for you.’ and never looked back.

I am sure that I got a detail or two wrong in this story, but the crux of the matter—a boss fired somebody for leaving early to attend a family emergency—is something that I definitely remember.