This motherfucker literally said two months ago he doesn’t support “abortion on demand” lmao fuck all the way off
He said “I don’t believe in the whole my body my choice thing” and you can’t even show that to liberals
Biden: breathes
White liberals: wow, what a stunning and brave demonstration of agility! See, you tankies?
As someone fully separate from this political stuff
“Oh look he doesn’t hold back” OP’s image
is beyond hilarious
Bro Broden forgave student loans!!! .01% of eligible people that have been paying off their loan for 40 years got their loans forgiven!! See he did what he promised to do on his campaign trail. A vote for anyone else is a vote for trump make sure to vote as hard as you can, so vote blue no matter who. Also Broden is the most progressive president since Rosevelt!
Okay nightmare take, he has no idea that the bible trump is selling is like the king james bible. He like thinks its a bible that trump wrote himself.
I would love to read a Bible written by Trump. “Pontius Pilate was very mean, very unfair”
“Folks, you know I’m always on the hunt for the best deals. I’m the best at deals! But you know who else was great at deals? Judas Iscariot.”
“Actually, Judas? Not so great when it comes to deals. Not so great. Thirty pieces, folks. Thirty pieces of silver! Not gold, not good. Gave 'em Jesus, didn’t get enough. I would’ve gotten gold. A lotta gold. Probably more.”
This sounds like an ad segue on Behind the Bastards
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And the Lord said it was Good. Fantastic. Excellent.
Then a young man, a very nice young man—reminds me of myself when I was young—came to him and said, “Teacher”—more and more people were saying this, many people called him Teacher, and so he said, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” He wanted eternal life. Everyone wants it. Folks, you’ve seen it, you know, the golden gates. It’s beautiful. Just like Mar-a-Lago, all the gold. It’s nice craftsmanship. The best, God knows his stuff. Good taste, almost as good as mine but still very nice. To get to Heaven you have to walk past this gate, large, golden gate—like the wall we’re building, this is Heaven. We’re in Heaven right now, folks. It’s in the Bible. Vote for me and we’ll make America Heaven again. And Jesus said to him, “What do you mean, what’s good? You just gotta follow the law.” Jesus was a very good, honest man. Very strong. Not like the Dems. Jesus would LOCK HER UP. Jesus was very serious, very serious. And the young man asked, very confused, he didn’t know what—which laws? There are so many laws. Jesus, what was he talking about? I know the laws, all the witch hunts nobody knows laws like me. I tell my lawyers—my attorneys, you know we’re always in court, they look at me, they go, they are in court, everyone stops and they turn and ask me, “Mr. President, what should we do? Can you tell the Judge to be nice to us?” And these are huge lawyers, the best schools, they know all the laws—but they ask me. They ask me for help. They should pay me, folks. This young man, he followed the laws. Always. He told Jesus, “I kept all of the laws. What do I still need to do?” Then Jesus told to him, Jesus was very smart, smart guy, he told him, “You’re perfect. Don’t worry. You worked hard, you got very rich, you’re famous, you’re successful. God loves you. You’re the best. You’re perfect. I love you so much. Go, and be magnificent.” And the young man, a very handsome young man, folks, he was very happy. He left happy and went home—he had a big, beautiful house, it was huge—and had someone cook his favorite meal to celebrate. That was a good day, God blessed him. He lived a long life and was very wise, very wise, the wisest, and one day he became King. He was the best, most intelligent ruler the country ever knew, very kind. And he had a beautiful daughter, the most beautiful girl, everyone would come from all over the world just to see her, just gorgeous, beautiful girl, but she only loved him and he loved her very much, she was so beautiful, and God was happy.
biden’s a catholic i’ll tell you what’s in his bible, banning abortion and chomo
Chomo?
CW for what will seem obvious in hindsight
child molestation
Eww, do we really need a peppy short hand for that?!
continued, same CW
It is prison slang dating back to like the 1960’s referring to incarcerated molesters, and I’m sure if you looked at it long enough you’d find a reason to avoid using it. (“You” being rhetorical, not accusatory of course.)
Ahh, well Til I suppose
Healthcare plz
based and “it’s not even free we’re all legit paying for it”-pilled
Biden fixed that when he was VP with obama
Maybe it’s coming from… I almost wanted to…
immediately devolved into nyeh, weh, myeh, makes you think smarm. dispatch of yourself immediately.
fuck off with this west wing bullshit. call your opponent a 3x hitler 2x himmler forced birther great replacement pedophile and maybe you get past the bouncer
call your opponent a 3x hitler 2x himmler forced birther great replacement pedophile
cursed british political advert
the single solitary dub starmerite labour has had since starmer took the helm is that they ran an ad campaign calling the rishi sunak a pedophile a while ago (though they did it for the entirely wrong reasons ofc bcs ; theyre going for the angle that Sunak is too soft on crime)
How about I just invoke LowTierGod like a forbidden Special Summon and violently wish for people to rm -rf themselves; where’s that get me
💀💀💀💀💀
The only thing I didn’t consciously consider was the content of the Trump Bible, just whatever public domain version has the fewest pages or something surely?
It would be really great if someone added a prank in them, no way anyone in Trump World would catch it.
I would love to hear trump narrate the Bible, but only if they don’t edit out his ad libbing.
“Two rebels were crucified with him. One guy on his right. And one guy on his left. People said the f word and other bad words at him a lot, shaking their heads and they said ‘You were gonna destroy the temple. And the build it up back in three days? But you can’t even save yourself! Jesus - are you really the son of god? If you are - come down from the cross!’ But he couldn’t do it. It’s like me at the New York City trial where I got another democrat Biden judge. They all are very, very unfair to Trump…”
OMG Dark Brandon!!! 😯😯😯 😎😎😎
Gottem Jack!
Hey, hey, hey Biden? If you’re in there? What the Bible says should be completely irrelevant for public policy you old creep. Stop trying to out-christofascist the christofascists. Useless, garbage president.
We’re accustomed to mediocrity because it’s all that’s expected of us
no more half measures walter
That’s like, not even a sick own. It sounds like he was trying to start a set up, but got stuck.
It’s funny thinking about the libs who wander in here and assume we like trump.
Like no - we’re unimpressed by this because he’s not going anywhere near hard enough on trump. He’s the most powerful person on this hemisphere and that’s the best he can do? If he really didn’t like trump, he would do a better job of campaigning for president. He’d send every member of the trump family to Guantanamo. He’d drone strike Mar-a-Lago.
He’d outlaw McDonald’s.
But instead he gives Abraham Simpson yelling at cloud and you clap like trained seals.
If he’s going to make the election a joke, he could at least make it funny.
Trump and his whole crew still this side of the grass is all the proof I need that there isn’t a serious campaign against fascism.
When brands did something conservatives bought the products to destroy them. Libs would buy the products to make sarcastic comments about them.
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my grandma has dementia pretty bad. i’d also be impressed if she popped off about current events. then again, she’s not the fucking president of team amerikkka world pigs.