That’s right CEOs please get behind the wheel drunk and back your Tesla into a retaining pond.
Vaxxed?
Did they get her sperm in time?
she and her billionaire friends just got done with a Pitbull concert and she drunkenly drove her Tesla into a lake
The rich are honestly parodies of themselves. How did she not die of cringe before dying of drowning?
Lmao you have infinite money and the worst fucking taste god
What do you mean? Billionaires have very good taste, not at all gaudy!
You take that back. Pitbull is the peoples poet, no one else can rhyme Kodak with Kodak
ngl if i would have to suffer through a pitbull show id do the same.
I can barely listen to pitbull for a minute and she’s coming back from his fucking concert? oh lord LOL.
Queen. The Lisan al-Gaib of CEOs. The Muad’Dib of dying. Let her be the first of many.
The Qwitzatch Haderach of drunk driving
Off the shits on water of life behind the wheel of a Tesla Heighliner
Honestly, i wasn’t expecting otherwise. My experience with people who can afford a good lawyer is that they already care a lot less about DUIs, and i doubt this gets any better when you can just hire somebody to drive you if your license gets revoked.
If I was wealthy you wouldn’t catch me ever driving myself.
If I was wealthy I would be able to live someplace where I never need to drive
If I was wealthy you wouldn’t know I existed. I’d be on hour 7300 of playing Factorio.
but like, with real factories
But what about the wroom wroom
teslas make a shitty whine sound anyway
Getting into my Tesla after 2 mimosas and a bottle of sweet riesling and saying “it’s whine o’clock!” I use the last of my air bubble before the cold water takes me to chuckle one last time at my pun.
Whine mom moment.
I’ve heard night mare stories about the Walton’s and DUIs. Seems the only way a cop can get fired and never rehired is if they pull over an American noble.
Plus she was driving a Tesla, she probably thought the self-driving would be sufficient
Drunk Driving is proven once again to be the best feature of American culture
Poseidon is on our side, comrades
Billionares are so frugal now they wont even hire drivers
Got to afford their 20th mega yacht somehow
Skill issue.
I would simply not drunk drive a Musk Murder Machine into a pond. But maybe I’m just built different.
Thank you comrade bottle of Josh
A video of the exterior of the south side camera captures Chao at 11:37 p.m. walking “unsteadily to her vehicle while continuing to hold her cellular phone in her right hand,” according to the report.
Chao is later seen entering her Tesla. The report stated that the camera then captured the car lurching toward a wooden barrier, reversing, turning to the left without stopping, and over the top of the limestone block wall. Afterward, the vehicle entered the water. A minute later, the vehicle’s lights were no longer visible.
Also lmao why didn’t she just WALK?? she had to drive?? she was on her property!! she could’ve just left the car and walked the like quarter of a mile!! I’m assuming her ‘ranch’ is huge as shit and the guest house is far away but still…I would’ve just walked
Where can we see the footage tho
if this story plays out for another news cycle I’m sure we’ll see it sooner or later. “TRAGIC LAST MOMENTS OF ANGELA CHAO. FRIENDS ARE STILL WONDERING IF THERE WAS ANY FOUL PLAY” on Fox
What if Musk is secretly a class traitor trying to kill off his own kind, but Teslas killing normies was an unintended side effect?
In 2009 she married a billionaire. He died a few months later. And then in 2012 she married another billionaire.
Personal life
Chao married Bruce Wasserstein in January 2009, just months before his death in October of that year. She married Jim Breyer in 2012.
Also - as her car was sinking - she was on the phone to her friend for eight minutes.
Death
On the evening of February 10, 2024, Chao was celebrating the Lunar New Year with friends at her Johnson City ranch. As her guests began going home, she got into her Tesla Model X and accidentally backed into a pond. The car began sinking. Unable to open her door or to break the glass, the car filled with water. Chao was on the phone for eight minutes as the car sank, from around 11:42 to 11:50 p.m., telling her friend she was going to die. Onlookers called 911 and attempted to help.
Blanco County emergency personnel arrived around midnight and tried to enter the car. A deputy broke the driver’s door window and went underwater where he found Chao and dragged her to shore. EMS workers were unable to revive her, and she was pronounced dead at 1:40 a.m. on February 11; she was 50 years old. A March 2024 police investigation concluded that Chao’s blood alcohol level was three times above the legal limit, and that her death was the result of an accident.
Bruh 8 minutes with bystanders and nobody could break a god damn window? Go get a hammer for fuck’s sake.
Tempered glass doesn’t break easily which is why it’s useful to have those special pointed hammers for breaking windows in the car.
I know that but any nearby house would have a forked hammer surely. Go smash down doors. All social rules disappear when a life or death emergency exists fuck everything else, you go and bash someone’s door down and scream what you need at them. If you can’t swing that thing under water properly place the sharp point on the surface and kick it.
I don’t understand how people can lack action in an emergency like this. Half these bystanders probably stood around watching instead of trying to do something.
Maybe they realized she deserved to die that way
Mashallah.
Who are the bystanders to oppose an act of God?
Also the cybertruck has some sort of bulletproof glass or some shit. Wonder why other cars might not want that…
They didn’t end up following on with that hype, just normal windows from what I’ve heard now.
You really expect them to get their formal suits wet?! Disgusting!
Live your life in a way such that when you crash your bazingamobile into a pond people around you will actually want to save you.
Step 1: Do not buy a bazingamobile.
I would not go to the trouble of lifting a finger to save a drowning billionaire, much less get my clothes wet for one.
I’d piss in the pond
Comrade alcohol is invading the bloodstreams of the rich
Getting absolutely blasted on sangria, trapping myself inside a giant bug zapper, and reversing into a lake.
This is the leading cause of death in The Villages, Florida (besides old age)
