As someone who was on computers being social from a very young age, I really don’t get why there’s so much push back on the smartphone, rather than setting healthy boundaries and having important discussions with children. As the article states, there’s basically no correlation of smartphone use with just about anything, except a lower life satisfaction score one year after high use of social media in a longitudinal study, but this probably holds true for many adults as well.
To me it seems like the big factors here is that a parent needs to be involved with their child’s use of a smartphone and involved in their child’s life in a way that many people aren’t nowadays. You need to be having regular conversations about the kids emotional state, how they perceive the world, some kinda check-in system to proactively identify where problems might arise and how to navigate complicated concepts with regards to socialization, mental health, and well-being.
I also think the article points out something important, and certainly relevant in my life. I couldn’t wait to grow up because as a child, no one listened to me, my concerns, my needs, my wants, and they were incredibly hypocritical about what I was allowed to do and not do
“Children hate hypocrisy,” says Livingstone. “They hate feeling they’re being told off for something that their parents do, like using the phone at mealtimes or going to bed with a phone.”
I think many parents take the lazy approach of not explaining adult concepts to their children and simply walling them off from experiencing the world. While some children might ultimately be okay with this, it doesn’t work for everyone and I don’t think it’s the right way to treat children.
I think many parents take the lazy approach of not explaining adult concepts to their children and simply walling them off from experiencing the world.
A lot of parents do this in my experience where I live. My wife and I have always kept open communication channels with our sons. Our sons know that they can talk to us about anything and we include them in most of our conversations. This is how you build emotional intelligence that they will, greatly, benefit from later in life. Heck, they are already getting huge benefits now.
My wife and I have offered to let them play around with our smartphones but they aren’t interested. We’re not pushing back against technology…we just want them to develop as healthy as possible so we restrict their media intake a little.
“Children hate hypocrisy,” says Livingstone. “They hate feeling they’re being told off for something that their parents do, like using the phone at mealtimes or going to bed with a phone.”That’s an odd argument, since there are many things that are allowed for adults and not for kids, and nobody views this as hypocritical.
That’s an odd argument, since there are many things that are allowed for adults and not for kids, and nobody views this as hypocritical.
Howso? If I tell my 5 year old “You can’t play with a tablet at the dinner table” while sitting there staring at my phone, they’re rightfully gonna be pissed at the double standard. “Do as I say, not as I do” is a shit parenting tactic.
Kids have an acute sense of fairness that gets subjugated out of them if you don’t foster it.
Just because it’s legal for me to drink alcohol doesn’t make it less hypocritical to drink one while lecturing about how bad it is for you.
Good points, but I think this was more about general society-wide rules, not about specific patterns of behavior.
my general experience with this: i didn’t get one until 17, and the only time it was inconvenient was when i needed to schedule a pick-up time for the bus stop with my parents, since i’d have to rely on someone else’s phone. beyond that though, didn’t really have an issue not having a phone; even now, i mostly just use it when we go out and it’s not my primary mode of communication.
only time it was inconvenient was when i needed to schedule a pick-up time for the bus stop with my parents
In that case I think one of those basic phones that can only make calls, send sms and play snake could be appropriate I think. Also allows them to contact someone in cases of emergency.
My nieces had these when they were children. My wife and I will, definitely, consider getting these for our sons soon. Would you happen to know where to find this type of phone?
Most phone shops I’ve been to in the past had at least one of those lying around, but I don’t know how it is in other places and whether it changed with time.
OK. Thanks.
giving them a laptop or desktop (ideally an easy to use GNU/Linux) would be most beneficial for learning purposes. i know some children who greatly benefited because of that… give them smartphones as well, but teach the children how to use it for the good.
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I’d go a long way not to give a kid a smartphone until it is at least 12. Instead I’d surround the kid with laptops, consoles and desktops. The mobile gaming is a hazard imo
First of all, my sons are fortunate to have parents that rarely use their phones. They’ve seen some of their peers, for the past 3 or 4 years, using phones incessantly and can’t understand why they’re wasting their time.
We have always set limits with media intake (PS5, PC gaming, YouTube, etc) and have explained to them why. So, they understand that their minds/emotions/friendships are developing and too much media intake can interfere with it.
As a family, we try to spend as much time outdoors as possible. We go for long nature walks, mountain hikes, swimming, car camping, etc. Their closest friends share similar restrictions with media intake and most of them would rather be riding bikes or playing school sports.
They asked us when it would be appropriate to have a phone. Our answer was when they are able to pay for it themselves. They didn’t complain and agreed.
First of all, my sons are fortunate to have parents that rarely use their phones.
This a thousand times. Smartphones are toxic in a way general-purpose computers aren’t, in that they’re attention-grabbing addiction machines. The notification is a curse upon mankind.
I have peers in their mid thirties whom it would be a miricle if they left their phone in their pocket for more than 30 minutes. My average phone screen time per day is < 1.5 hours…lower on weekends surprisingly. And people can’t comprehend how.
It’s simply eliminating all non-critical notifications, uninstalling everything that isn’t a strict need. Yes, I probably browse on Firefox more than I want, but at least I’m not doomscrolling through 3-5 infinite social media feeds for hours on end.
After watching a generation grow with smartphones, I’m going to say 16. Societies should probably make them illegal for kids younger than that, because that would be the only way to get these devices away from them without ruining their social lifes.
Social media companies would fight tooth and nail against such a thing, which I’m sure many would see as additional proof that it’s a good idea.
With parental control since 12, and unrestricted access by 16 :p
