I hate how every dating app profile is all about how they enjoy skydiving, 4x4ing, kayaking and all kinds of crazy shit that is way too exciting for me, and probably would cost several months of my disposable income
I think it’s lifestyle airbrushing, like what basic people do on Facebook. I highly doubt most of them actually have the time or even the inclination to do that stuff regularly, but if they did it once or have the equipment, they can add it to the Very Important And Dynamic People bingo card.
In my books that counts. It’s cool when people have long-term interests but if you do stuff all the time that also makes you an interesting person. I would struggle to have a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn’t do anything like you listed.
You’re not too poor for hobbies, you’re too poor to go skydiving and shit. There’s plenty of hobbies that don’t require expensive gear. No one wants to date a person who never does anything. Whatever you do is your hobby.
I was seeing a woman recently who was in debt and worked 2 full time jobs and 1 part time job and spent all her free time going on dates with me or clubbing with her friends
If you’re always in survival mode then you don’t have time for dating either. It sucks but almost everyone in the history of humanity didn’t get to pick their partner and it doesn’t make you a bad person to not be able to either.
People care what you do with your free time because chemistry will only take up some of it. Part of using a dating app is imagining yourself with the person and forming an opinion. Can I see myself with a skydiver? What about a gamer? What about a woodworker (jk, the mustache would tickle too much)?
didn’t get to pick their partner and it doesn’t make you a bad person to not be able to either.
I don’t even care if don’t “get to pick” – I’m just tired of being completely passed on by the entire human race for anything from a real relationship to a fling or FWB or whatever, because of stupid bullshit like not having an interesting dating profile because no life.
What do you think qualifies as a hobby?
I don’t know, it’s shit that will impress or intrigue somebody apparently.
I mean the answer here is that yeah, we live under Capitalism, so how much money you make absolutely matters to how good of a shot you have in the dating pool; particularly as a man.
Some people will tell you that these things don’t matter, because of some weird anecdote where they make up a dude who lives out of a dumpster but gets numbers all the time, but that’s not reality, and that’s absolutely not the norm.
The thing is, you gotta learn to live with the struggle.
what is the point? why live if you’re condemned to watch as you are completely 100% passed on for all your prime dating years, until you’re so old that nobody is free or attractive anymore (including yourself) and everyone’s sex hormones are in decline so nobody gives a fuck anyways?
Well I probably wouldn’t start to like them in any sort of romantic sense.
Having some sort of drive to do something or be interested in a particular topic or endeavour is a pretty fundamental part of my brain. I’m defining “hobbies” very broadly here, but being able to do or create things for their own sake, especially with or for other people, is a major portion of the point of my life.
Even just enjoying whipping up a good dinner for yourself once in a while counts. Bingeing Netflix as an escape doesn’t to me. Obviously this is pretty subjective but it’s how I relate to people.
The other thing is that I like people with a confident and well-defined sense of self, and interests and hobbies are a major part of that. I’ve been at the point where I want to sink time into some of the things I care about and a partner of mine has little of their own to counterbalance that, and the mismatch with how we want to spend time can be difficult. I absolutely cannot be someone’s only obsession.
I hate how every dating app profile is all about how they enjoy skydiving, 4x4ing, kayaking and all kinds of crazy shit that is way too exciting for me, and probably would cost several months of my disposable income
I think it’s lifestyle airbrushing, like what basic people do on Facebook. I highly doubt most of them actually have the time or even the inclination to do that stuff regularly, but if they did it once or have the equipment, they can add it to the Very Important And Dynamic People bingo card.
well can people not be so lame? lol
I couldn’t be in an involved relationship with anyone that has absolutely zero hobbies.
Is posting a hobby
I’m pretty sure being trans is a hobby… right…?
With all the work trans people seem to put in, it seems more like a job then a hobby.
why? what difference does it make, if you like each other?
because people that don’t have hobbies 1) are usually not happy and 2) will not be interesting to talk to. hobbies are important
Death to America
I don’t think this is necessarily true
I know tons of people that are happy and interesting to talk to who don’t have hobbies or interests but they just do random stuff all the time
Stuff like clubbing, going to art/cultural/music events, consuming random media, travelling, hanging out in parks/around the city, etc.
In my books that counts. It’s cool when people have long-term interests but if you do stuff all the time that also makes you an interesting person. I would struggle to have a meaningful relationship with someone who doesn’t do anything like you listed.
well I am too fucking poor for “hobbies”. why am I condemned to being undateable and unfuckable until I move up a tax bracket or two?
You’re not too poor for hobbies, you’re too poor to go skydiving and shit. There’s plenty of hobbies that don’t require expensive gear. No one wants to date a person who never does anything. Whatever you do is your hobby.
I was seeing a woman recently who was in debt and worked 2 full time jobs and 1 part time job and spent all her free time going on dates with me or clubbing with her friends
You can 100% be too poor to have hobbies
😱 Dating you was her hobby! (And clubbing)
Clubbing is a hobby. You got special equipment, skills, a complex jargon and culture.
What do you think a hobby is?
and if you’re always in survival mode you won’t have time for any of that crap
ok my hobbies are video games and going to the gym. do I pass the dating site tests yet?
why? why would an adult give a fuck how much time I spend “going out” if there is chemistry or whatever?
If you’re always in survival mode then you don’t have time for dating either. It sucks but almost everyone in the history of humanity didn’t get to pick their partner and it doesn’t make you a bad person to not be able to either.
People care what you do with your free time because chemistry will only take up some of it. Part of using a dating app is imagining yourself with the person and forming an opinion. Can I see myself with a skydiver? What about a gamer? What about a woodworker (jk, the mustache would tickle too much)?
What do you think qualifies as a hobby?
I don’t even care if don’t “get to pick” – I’m just tired of being completely passed on by the entire human race for anything from a real relationship to a fling or FWB or whatever, because of stupid bullshit like not having an interesting dating profile because no life.
I don’t know, it’s shit that will impress or intrigue somebody apparently.
I mean the answer here is that yeah, we live under Capitalism, so how much money you make absolutely matters to how good of a shot you have in the dating pool; particularly as a man.
Some people will tell you that these things don’t matter, because of some weird anecdote where they make up a dude who lives out of a dumpster but gets numbers all the time, but that’s not reality, and that’s absolutely not the norm.
lame. may as commit suicide.
Nah, don’t do that.
The thing is, you gotta learn to live with the struggle.
IDK, if this was the effect commenting was gonna have I probably shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for bringing you down tonight.
what is the point? why live if you’re condemned to watch as you are completely 100% passed on for all your prime dating years, until you’re so old that nobody is free or attractive anymore (including yourself) and everyone’s sex hormones are in decline so nobody gives a fuck anyways?
Well I probably wouldn’t start to like them in any sort of romantic sense.
Having some sort of drive to do something or be interested in a particular topic or endeavour is a pretty fundamental part of my brain. I’m defining “hobbies” very broadly here, but being able to do or create things for their own sake, especially with or for other people, is a major portion of the point of my life.
Even just enjoying whipping up a good dinner for yourself once in a while counts. Bingeing Netflix as an escape doesn’t to me. Obviously this is pretty subjective but it’s how I relate to people.
The other thing is that I like people with a confident and well-defined sense of self, and interests and hobbies are a major part of that. I’ve been at the point where I want to sink time into some of the things I care about and a partner of mine has little of their own to counterbalance that, and the mismatch with how we want to spend time can be difficult. I absolutely cannot be someone’s only obsession.