I would say my philosophical mindset is an ever expanding garden fertilised by nihilism, stoicism, and buddhism. I try not to fetishise philosophies, leaders, or people and try to learn something from every ideology I come across.
I appreciate the mantra “I will desire nothing” and I think it has helped me many times in my life when things have collapsed around me. If you do not focus on what you want and instead focus on what you can do to improve I find you are always surprised and grateful for what you receive.
One of my rejections of buddhist philosophy is a complete removal of ones self from the physical plane. This includes self denial; acts of self denial can be selfish and I think it’s important that the goal of wanting nothing and being a good person should always be considered when denying oneself. It should be the result of a moral decision, not a guide for it. I know this is discussed in the teachings, but I often find anglosised buddhists focusing on their removal rather than their presence.
Something I would like to get better at is to dissolve the construct of my individual self and undergo ego loss. To remove the ideologies I have been taught and stop telling myself stories that prevent me from improving.
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I refer to self improvement in terms of putting myself in a position to make more moral decisions.
But yeah, life is a series of contradictions and false starts
Insightful post, thanks!
A bit late to the party…
Rather than commenting on your thoughtful post, here is my take:
What I get out of Buddhism is scale, and how the largest/longest scale relates to the smallest/shortest.
There is this story where they scale time by how long it takes to erode a mountain when striking it with a handkerchief. This puts billions of years in perspective, and somehow also put the second, minutes and hours in perspective spent, every day, on loved ones, hated ones, work or pleasure.
I love Buddhism for it’s broadness and quietness. It doesn’t give you instructions, but tries to widen your point of view so much.