My wife’s sister’s husband has spent a few years as a corporate lawyer for various companies, most recently for some insurance company working to screw other companies out of their coverage. So he tells me “you know, I just don’t like my job, I’m making a ton of money, but I’m not happy, I want to do something meaningful, I want to help people” etc. I’m thinking “oh, okay, right on.” But then my BIL loses me completely when he tells me “so I applied to become and FBI agent and I have already made it pretty far in the process. So an agent might contact you when they do my background check.”

(First of all, I’m not speaking to a fucking FBI pig for nothing. Fuck that. And I told my BIL so: “I will not be speaking to the FBI. If an agent contacts me, that is exactly the entirety of what I will say to them before I hang up the phone or shut the door.” But I bit my tongue when it came to why I felt that way)

The topic didn’t come up again, but I’ll probably see him again in a couple of weeks. And I feel like I need to say something to him, but what? He claims being an FBI agent has been his dream since he was 15. He apparently thinks joining the FBI is a way to help people. He’s tired of looking after rich people’s money and rich corporations’ money (bro what do you think you’ll be doing with the FBI???) I also feel like a big reason he is doing this is to seem cool and masculine and interesting, not out of a genuine desire to help.

What do you guys think? How should I approach it? What specifically should I bring up to demonstrate that the FBI is not the best way to help people? Should I go all out that the FBI is demonstrably evil? Or should I take the approach that it is lame as hell? What alternative path would you suggest to someone with a law degree who says they want to help people?

I’m not trying to attack him or anything. It is lame and has made me lose respect for him, but I’m not trying to lead with that.

  • Ratette (she/her)@lemmygrad.ml
    11·
    3 years ago

    What’s the dynamic here? Is he older than you? Does he respect your opinion?

    These things matter because if he respects your opinion then maybe a beer and a more chill chat will help you articulate to him your viewpoint. Just wading in with FBI are dogs isn’t going to articulate to someone who thinks they help people that they don’t if you get me.

    If he’s older than you? is he inherently ageist? Will your view just come off as naive to him if you are younger or if you are older will he just think you are lecturing him?

    You’ll know him better than any of us so you need to tailor how you approach the conversation with that in mind. Yes in an ideal world power dynamics and such like this wouldn’t be the issue but I feel for Anglosphere males you’re fighting an immediate up hill battle as they are conditioned to think they are right nearly all the time. From what it sounds like the FBI are his power fantasy dream and if you attack that in the wrong way he’s going to shut down and disregard your argument.

    As others have mentioned maybe articulate to him how he can use the skills he has developed in a very powerful way to help protect tenants and the less privileged of society. How he can make real change to people’s lives by using those skills to actually make a difference.

    Focus on the positive vs the negatives maybe?

    Sorry I can’t be more help 😔

          • Ratette (she/her)@lemmygrad.ml
            7·
            3 years ago

            Oh! Onto onto and I agree. A big step myself in moving left was shedding that arrogance and subsequent chauvinism. Its such a trap.

            The one I find myself in now is that I’m so full o’ communism I can’t handle conversations with western leftists or radical centrists because its like holding up a mirror to your past self and that’s both uncomfortable and also infuriating because they talk so much shite.

    • hero_ballOP
      6·
      3 years ago

      He’s maybe 2 years older than me. As far as respecting my opinion…ehhh idk. I think he judges people off income level way too much, so my HS teacher salary doesn’t exactly impress him. He thinks he is hot-shit, or at least acts like it. I feel like he is pretty insecure deep down.

      I think you have been a fantastic help. Any input is helpful in me thinking through this. I definitely don’t want to attack or antagonize. Especially when he doesn’t even have the job or a guarantee of it, yet.