got punched in the face for playing keep-away with a school lunch cookie (I was being really annoying about it)
Mid September, 2001. I asked my dad if “everyone is sad about 9/11” includes the cows in the field. He looked at me and said yes, even the cows are sad.
When we were little, my neighbor was sticking peanuts up his nose, throwing his head back and then blowing them out like a rocket. Watched my brother imitate him, but he shoved the peanut WAY too far up and he had to go to the doctor to get it removed.
My parents still blame me decades later because I didn’t stop him. I maintain my innocence.
Running around at my friend’s house, I tripped and slit my leg open on a small rock. I looked down and instead of blood, I saw white. Then the blood poured out. Somehow managed to avoid stitches.
My friend’s dad dug up the rock later and it turned out it was a boulder.
When my kids were really young, they would take baths together. One time I was walking by the open door and heard the older one yell “Don’t pee on me, I’m your sister!” The younger one just laughed.
Revenge came a few days later.
Talking to the big boss about my job performance and was told that I was a “jack of all trades, master of none.”
Interviewed with him for a new position a month later and the guy I trained was given the job instead. The big boss told me he needed someone with wider experience and that I was too specialized. Later I found out my direct supervisor just told the big boss that I was indispensable and he couldn’t afford to lose me.
No wonder the big boss had no fucking clue what I was doing despite me keeping a detailed record of it for him to review (that he never bothered to read). Guy just used his charisma to skirt doing his job and just said whatever bullshit he could pull out of his ass. Other employees who were burned by him still miss that asshole.
Regularly played soccer in the parking lot with a few friends and one of their dads. The dad would play us 3v1 and say that if we won, he’d buy us each a pack of Pokemon cards. He let us win, but we didn’t know. He offered us triple or nothing. We took the bet, and he hustled us and told us not to be greedy and press our luck.
Opening a new savings account after a family move (back then, people encouraged children to save their pocket money to teach the value of thrift)
I mentioned to the banker were I had had an account in the old city, and he told me that they were in a lot of trouble. It was part of the Savings and Loan fiasco of the late 1980s.
Autumn of 1969, sending encrypted letters to the Chronicle.
Throwing a deodorant can in a pile of burning leaves in middle school. It booms
I saw my mother naked at 7yo so I started crying and pretended to have fainted (because I saw that in a cartoon), then my grandpa told me I will see more naked women in the future while laughing
I remember some kids stopped bullying me in third grade because they learned I could draw dinosaurs pretty well
At an arcade for a friend’s birthday, my dad told me and my friend that if anyone made fun of friend’s brother’s condition, we could beat the shit out of them and he wouldn’t tell anyone.
Same outing: Like 6 other kids helping me beat the arm wrestling machine
Me and my friends throwing a giant dildo on top of the roof my friends house, we never retrieved it
Epic airsoft gun battle where a bunch of us hopped in the back of a friends pickup truck to track down some other people running around the neighborhood
Watching Weird All Yankovic perform “Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota” in like 3rd grade and noticing an older girl (middleschool or older maybe) with super short pixie cut hair and crushing hard
Renting video games and movies at the local version of Blockbuster, and then watching all those stores shut down as internet access became widespread. I still remember the store, crappy red carpet included. They even tried Blu Ray rentals, including a Blu Ray player or PS3 rental, as a last ditch effort to stay in business, but went bust anyways.
Also remember riding my bicycle up the steepest hill in history as a five year old. Went back to that hill as an adult decades later. It actually barely was a hill, I was just a weak and small five year old.
making an ant village out of sticks at my summer camp and genuinely being distraught when it collapsed after it rained
accidentally snipping off my eyebrow trying to pantomime what someone else in my cabin did (snip off their eyebrow)
one of my synagogue friends getting sent home from camp early for shooting at one of the Israeli counselors (inactive-duty tyrant larper) with a longbow (he missed) (beast mode anyhow)
I took a sip of my own piss because the doctor had me pee in a cup during an appointment. I had no concept of urinalysis and just assumed he was thirsty, leaving me with the question “well does it taste good?”
I think I was four at the time.
Well, how was it?
I remember it being mostly salty but with a subtle, yet extremely distinct flavor that was somewhat similar to bile.
I developed a one of those celebrity crushes on Sarah McLachlan after listening to Fumbling Towards Esctasy during one of my lonely summers between the school years. I thought her voice was so pretty and the more I listened to it the more convinced I was that she was a lesbian. I was utterly devestated when her wikipedia page contained no mention of being gay or bi. In fact, she was married to a MAN. I remember being in a funk over this for a couple days afterwards and deciding to interperet the album through my own sapphic lens, even if the artist herself was not that way at all.
Very normal twelve year old boy behavior.
Oh my GOD I fucking loveeeed that album!! I was also like 11-12 when I was into it. I wanna go back and relisten, ill bet its still a banger. And the sapphic thing…Are you me? Lol
Huh, I wonder how common of an experience this actually is…
Ok so its subjective obviously but its still a great album, I have it on vinyl and it is a glorious experience when listened to on bigass speakers. Now, the meanings of the songs have changed so much for me over the past couple decades or so, Posession hits WAY different when you realize that its written from the perspective of a stalker. I listen to “Mary” as a sequel to Bruce Springsteen’s “The River”. There are a bunch of things that tie the two songs together and I like the idea that Mary got to take back control of her life some years after getting knocked up by her dumbass boyfriend when she was 18.
Driving over a big bridge and my sister opened the car door
Coming up with the setting for a game of pretend and it was literally just communism
the couch that my parents had when i was very young (younger than 6) was poorly upholstered and had some staples or something that were not flush. i was sitting on the couch and swinging my legs and hitting one of them with my achilles and it hurt like a mf
