It’s gonna be awful. Two mumbling old men who’s brains have melted yelling at each other. Maga will say Trump won. BlueMaga will say Biden won. The rest of us look on in horror that these 2 decrepit husks are somehow the best this system could muster up. And I become fully
The real horror will be watching all the propagandists asking each other stuff like “When the US needs to launch the nukes at China, will Biden be too impotent to do it?”, “Americans don’t want to see us capitulate to Russia, will Biden’s arms deals to Ukraine be what wins him the nomination?”, “Americans want Israel to teach the terrorists a lesson, but Biden said that Palestinians are human, will that become a problem for him?”, “Trump’s competent and actionable plan to use illegal migrant criminals as animal feed may prove to be more appealing to voters than Biden’s limp-dick work camps”, “both candidates seemed to put forth strong proposals for dealing with the excess homeless, lets discuss their plans”.
it won’t even be funny
NO! SHUT UP!! 😰
Kind of obvious but probably the most heated back-and-forth will be when they’re arguing over who loves Israel more and who will do more to ensure Israel can continue their genocide.
“No one is a bigger lover of Israel. I have been a Zionist for decades—”
“Excuse me, excuse me. Who’s daughter is Jewish? Biden? No - Trump. Who—”
A moderator jumps in: “President Trump - again we implore—”
“No. Biden liar. And wrong-wrong-wrong. Who moved the embassy to Jerusalem? Biden? No - Trump. Who—”
“Hey! Who do I gotta beat in a one-armed wrestling pushup contest to get a word in? The Orange Guy keeps interrupting me!”
Unfortunately, they will be turning off mics
Trump brings his own mic and equipment
he walks over to biden’s mic
Or just yells loud enough to get picked up by Bidens mic
Yep! “Were there not an Israel, the United States of America would have to invent an Israel to protect her interest in the region.” – US Senator Joe Biden, 1986.
Biden will talk about a bunch of bad things he did as if they’re good things and Trump will say they’re bad things but for the wrong reasons
And pundits will say Trump made Biden look bad for it, but maybe the objectively good things Trump did will really cost him. Furthermore, maybe the objectively good things Biden did will cancel that out. Ultimately, it’s up to voters to decide which candidate is more satanic, and mark them on the ballot!
100% chance both will say extremely racist things about Palestinians, migrants, Chinese people and Iranians
40% chance at least one of them will say something condescending and paternalistic about black people
50% chance Trump will bring up culture war nonsense like DEI
75% chance Biden will openly bash left liberals in an attempt to counter Trump’s “out of touch with whi- Heartland” comments
30% chance Biden will say something fucked up about abortion
50% chance Trump will say something half way decent about abortion
95% chance Biden downplays inflation
5% chance Trump says Tankie
What are Biden’s and Trumps’ views on abortion?
Biden’s a catholic who a few months ago brought up his opposition to what he called “abortion on demand”, aside from that disgusting remark it’s been radio silence on the topic
Trump is a yuppie misogynist whose opinions on abortion most likely shift depending on his mood and whether it benefits him personally, but he’s a canny political actor, so he may have clocked on to the fact abortion bans are genuinely hurting republican chances with white women
two senile old men argue over who can be more fascist
aneurysm on live TVDual aneurysm and the people desperate to run in 2028 begin eating their still warm corpses to absorb their power.
Neither of those zombies are warm right now
They give Biden enough Vyvanse to ace a battery of Chinese Imperial Exams.
Trump comes out with his mojo back. Hopefully he mentions something like the handsome pilots or a Broadway musical he saw 40 years ago. That’s where the entertainment value is for me. They’re never letting Biden talk about Corn Pop or Aunt Gertie again.
They’re never letting Biden talk about Corn Pop or Aunt Gertie again.
But at any time - Biden’s brain might decide the youngsters need to hear about Corn Auntie Gertie Pop.
I just want to hear him talk about how the banks don’t give out sacks of oranges for Christmas like they did in 1972.
I hope they both have fun and try their best!
hope they die
of fun!
This response gives Oglaf vibes lol
That counts as a compliment
Also, the three posts form a dialectic.
It’s very important that regardless of the outcome to reinforce how special they truly are - they both get a trophy,
“Good Game!”
“Yeah, right…”
The debate is gonna be rigged, but not to give either candidate a tangible advantage. It’s gonna be rigged to make both candidates look and sound like normal people with normal opinions who aren’t currently decomposing alive. They can’t do this for just Biden because whatever conditions he needs to appear normal in public are probably the exact same conditions Trump needs to do his thing.
They can’t do this for just Biden because whatever conditions he needs to appear normal in public are probably the exact same conditions Trump needs to do his thing.
It’s not just, like, the room temperature and chair tilt, but also the camerawork and moderation that influence this, and those can absolutely be biased, though idk what the bias would even be since I’m not following this
In other words, it’s going to be a complete snoozefest.
I completely forgot there was going to be a Trump/Biden debate. With that said, the only thing that’ll make it worth watching is if it ends in two high-profile fatalities.
Bob Dole predicts Bob Dole ain’t watching that shit
- simultaneous fatal heart attacks
Step closer to the lathe, please.
Excited to see how Biden’s latest facelift is.
Hopeful we get at least one Trumpism, bonus points if somebody’s eye fills with blood.
if somebody’s eye fills with blood.
Lightning strikes twice - inshallah. If it happens - it’s emote time.
-–
CW: This lizard squirts blood out of its eyes.
Maybe we’ll get two bloodshot eyes this time
Biden promises all the same things he did 4 years ago, brings up Jan 6th all the time. He brings up 1 half way decent policy he implemented and hyper fixates on it.
Trump says all the bad stuff happening right now is Bidens fault and wouldn’t have happened with him in office.
Both of them foam at the mouth over migrants coming into the country.
Both of them compete over who has more unconditional support for Israel, Trump still manages to call Biden Genocide Joe in between 2 sentences of how he would support Israel more
