I figured a close stereotype for men, would be that they should all be farmers. The thing is, there are under two million farmers in the US as of 2023. So statistically, an equivalent occupation/role should have a larger number.

  • Riskable@programming.dev
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    72
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    5 months ago

    Men shouldn’t be allowed near children that aren’t their own. It’s rarely stated but regularly assumed.

      • Longpork3@lemmy.nz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        5 months ago

        My daughter is a very different skin colour than me. Somehow the worst I’ve encountered to date is an uppity mother who thought I was telling off a random child.

    • waz@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      5 months ago

      I think you were implying something different, but I feel like I get a ton of odd comments suggesting it’s weird for me to be out with my own kid. Things like “giving mom the day off?” or “what happened to his mom?”.

      I had friends complain about this kind of thing before I had kids and I thought that they were exaggerating. Nope, it’s all over the place. It’s certainly not everyone, but it is much more common than I expected.

      • exanime@lemmy.today
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        5 months ago

        Things like “giving mom the day off?” or “what happened to his mom?”.

        I always hated the “are you babysitting?”

        Like NO! These are my fucking kids, I don’t babysit them, I’m parenting

    • SurpriZe@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      I’m 33 and never seen this IRL. Weird. Only heard people mention it online. Must be that thing that doesn’t actually happen and is only perceived on the web.

      • exanime@lemmy.today
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        5 months ago

        Must be that thing that doesn’t actually happen and is only perceived on the web.

        By all means, take your own experience into account but don’t fall for this fallacy…

        By you own logic, murder must be a myth because it hasn’t happened to you

      • otp@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        5 months ago

        It’s likely a cultural thing. I’ve noticed it in urban Canada, myself.

        A man smiling at a child who looks at him will get glares or weird looks from the parent. A woman smiling at a child who looks at her will be nothing out of the ordinary. The same man is “allowed” to smile at children if he’s with a woman and/or a kid of his own.

      • waz@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        5 months ago

        Before I had a kid, I heard this was a thing, but didn’t really care as I didn’t really have a desire to be around kids. Once I became a father, I realized a lot of people make strange assumptions about men around small humans. Its certainly not most people, but definitely some, and definitely not just online.

  • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    58
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    5 months ago

    “Women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” transcribes to “Men should be shirtless and mentally ill in the garage.”

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 months ago

      As a millennial, if I could afford a house, I PROMISE you I wouldn’t also be able to afford mental health treatments, or a shirt.

      So this tracks…if I could get a house.

        • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          5 months ago

          You are going to be the best uncle that nobody trusts their kid with after what happened last time they had you watch their house. You have an important role in the community, selling illegal fireworks to bored teens.

        • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          5 months ago

          Honestly, if you’re a millenial in this economy something is wrong with you if you aren’t at least a little crazy.

          The stress is fucking unreal.

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        5 months ago

        Clearly you just need to be a man and work harder and more hours, at the expense of your mental health, to be a better provider because that is your only value to your family. The more emotionally shut-off and weekday war-torn you are, the better the space in which you can escape work and home stress by self-isolating and self-medicating with alcohol. Your chosen man-cave is totally not a place to hide your emotional breakdowns where you silently sob as you suffer the masculine burdens of building stress and feelings of inadequacy alone. Just remember, communicating your feelings is what women do; men dig their grave faster and deeper because that takes manly strength.

        • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          5 months ago

          …with the exception of having a family vs living alone, you just described what my life would be life without medical issues. I mean,it’s still mostly what you said. You just left out the part about not affording to be able to pay medical bills too.

          • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            5 months ago

            You made the classic weak feminine male mistake of going to the doctor. A real man never goes to the doctor because you are fine and you just need to be strong and it will go away because it is just a benign affliction. You can’t burden your family with worry or medical debt if you don’t go to the doctor, that’s just science. Weak men are worried about their health before it is too late, strong men fight treatable or curable undiagnosed illnesses until it kills them like a man. Just remember, a real man gets diagnosed before retirement by a coroner.

      • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        5 months ago

        Honestly, us millenials not having houses is probably a huge win for climate change… if I had the space to setup up a forge and learn metalworking I don’t think I’d be able to resist. “But I can do it in minecraft…”

        • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          5 months ago

          Oh my god. We’re going to have a story soon where a bunch of 35 year olds buy a vacant plot of land, and then dig downwards. Then they’ll disrupt some plumbing, or cables run underground, or gas pipes. SOMETHING bad will be cut, and when they get questioned, they’ll say they were strip mining for diamonds.

        • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          5 months ago

          A “garage” means any space a man can claim as his own to self-isolate and cry quietly in. Be it a garage, basement, shed, or man-cave. As long as he can suffer silently and nobody knows, he is a strong man and every strong man needs his “garage”.

      • NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        5 months ago

        You might just have to move out of the city, things get way cheaper when you go rural, plus it opens you up for usda loans.

        They’re for rural areas and they will put down 100% of your down payment, but your credit score has to be right and you have to find a nice house, like really nice.

        The one I am about to buy was approved for a usda loan, until they found out that 1 corner of the crawlspace was technically in a 1 in a 100 year flood zone.

        If that doesn’t work you can try fha, their guidelines are a little more lax, but you have to put 3.5% down.

        That’s what I am using and I know that my rent for the next 30 years is fixed until my mortgage insurance falls off.

        That is with no adjustment for inflation either.

        So if shit spikes again, at least my rent effectively got cheaper.🤣😂😞😢

      • Death_Equity@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        5 months ago

        So long as you are alone, your realized value has the ability to provide for a hypothetical family, and your liver can tank a half a bottle of brown liquor a night without the spins.

  • Krudler@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    41
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    Protectors & providers

    It’s one of the worst kind of inequality which women don’t (or rarely) ever examine and question if it’s compatible with modern ideas

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      5 months ago

      Yup, I have an essential tremor and fucking hate that one. I don’t mind strength based tasks… but if I try and screw in a light bulb I’ll probably crush it accidentally… don’t even get me started on appliances like blenders and shit - in the best case scenario I’ll brick the device… but I’ll probably injur myself.

      • NoIWontPickAName@kbin.earth
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        5 months ago

        I mean no offense at all, and feel free not to answer, but how do you type?

        Is it like a special keyboard, voice to text, or do I just completely misunderstand what you mean?

        • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          9
          ·
          5 months ago

          At the moment it comes and goes with stress, as my dad aged it became more and more common but I can usually manage to type (with a lot of autocorrect help and backspace). It also varies with hand posture and that sort of clamping grip really makes me unsteady (for this reason scrubing potatoes is actually extremely difficult for me).

          It’s a neurological thing - almost certainly - so I only know what I’ve observed.

          • ikidd@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            5 months ago

            A friends son has this. It’s a little disconcerting to watch a 25 year old shaking like they have Parkinsons. He seems to rely on large muscle movements and catching things as they go by rather than steadying in on something.

  • The Menemen!@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    That every man has to be a breadearner, a handyman and be able to physically defend their home&family.

    • RippleEffect@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      5 months ago

      Anecdotal, being from Louisiana, this is what I’ve been pressured with my entire life.

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    24
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    5 months ago

    Men should be the breadwinners, men should be the one to ask the woman out, men should pay for the first date, men have to be the ones who propose, men should be 6 feet tall… It sucks especially if you’re an introvert, shy, and nobody ever explained this shit to you as a teenager. Therapy ftw.

  • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    5 months ago

    Have to be a raging bull of testosterone and manly interests while also being a round the clock worker to be a breadwinner and also being a father figure to any children in your life on demand

  • lemmyng@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    5 months ago

    Men not being allowed to be emotionally expressive has led to so many mental health problems…