I’m confessing this now, so I can still maintain my accountability (and not become a piece of shit).
I found porn (firstly face sitting and then wetting) when I was 13; I wish I didn’t. I was trying (and unsurprisingly failed) to ‘get’ a girlfriend. (Retrospect, Big mistake was thinking to ‘get’ one as if they are objects to obtain like game rewards; I learnt that lesson, lol.)
I still watch it 5 years later… that was a mistake (albeit unconcious, but still my fault) as I am aware of what porn addicts become if they don’t stop.
I heard that porn was bad through yourbrainonporn, but some of studies had low sample sizes and subjective measures for testing that I jumped to the conclusion that porn wasn’t harmful.
Well, I’m realizing that lacking a source doesn’t automatically invalidate someone; and that the harm done is through spreading misogynist ideology.
Of course, (usonian) capitalism is part of the problem. The people are heavily isolated by car-centric transportation, isolated through work, the capitalist state (police and psychiatry), etc. Unsurprisingly, as long as those systems exists, I’m likely going to struggle worse with fighting porn addiction; as I have no consistent acquaintances.
I would have told my parents when this first started; but I feared getting abused (this is the reactionary U.S we’re talking about).
I wish I was born in the USSR, where they banned porn. It would have been great to never deal with that.
Mental health issues at 18 years are common. Do you have a therapist to talk to?
Porn isn’t bad in itself and I doubt that a communist society wouldn’t have cool video of people pleasuring themselves etc.
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I think porn industry emphasizing on the best visual effect for the customer. To think about it, when you have sex you’ll get different pov. And even though you peep on other people having sex, it’s also a very bad angle compared to porn. Therefore, it’s understandable that we all hooked on the beauty of it (pun intended). It’s not porn we are into, but part of the beauty in life.
In my case, my lifehack is just to reduce porn into not too special existence or as just a mere content. Only watch porn if needed, that’s a biology, but the pursue of beauty is a lifetime endeavor.
