I’m confessing this now, so I can still maintain my accountability (and not become a piece of shit).

I found porn (firstly face sitting and then wetting) when I was 13; I wish I didn’t. I was trying (and unsurprisingly failed) to ‘get’ a girlfriend. (Retrospect, Big mistake was thinking to ‘get’ one as if they are objects to obtain like game rewards; I learnt that lesson, lol.)

I still watch it 5 years later… that was a mistake (albeit unconcious, but still my fault) as I am aware of what porn addicts become if they don’t stop.

I heard that porn was bad through yourbrainonporn, but some of studies had low sample sizes and subjective measures for testing that I jumped to the conclusion that porn wasn’t harmful.

Well, I’m realizing that lacking a source doesn’t automatically invalidate someone; and that the harm done is through spreading misogynist ideology.

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Of course, (usonian) capitalism is part of the problem. The people are heavily isolated by car-centric transportation, isolated through work, the capitalist state (police and psychiatry), etc. Unsurprisingly, as long as those systems exists, I’m likely going to struggle worse with fighting porn addiction; as I have no consistent acquaintances.

I would have told my parents when this first started; but I feared getting abused (this is the reactionary U.S we’re talking about).

I wish I was born in the USSR, where they banned porn. It would have been great to never deal with that.