“I’ve tried coaxing them, I’ve tried coercing them, but they all tell me to work on myself EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY WORK OUT”

  • Tankiedesantski [he/him]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    1 year ago

    I think there is a constructive discussion to be had about the practical implications of changing (and unchanged) gender roles in dating for men. Unfortunately any attempt to have those discussions is being drowned out by dude-bro misogynists grifting for followers.

    • rubpoll [she/her]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      Women need to be more clear with their facial expressions so I know if my attempts to Admire, Joke, Boast, or Coerce them are working.

  • gramathy
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    1 year ago

    See, I know why women don’t like me that way, I’m short and boring

    • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      1 year ago

      I wouldn’t necessarily count you out. If you’re not pulling out so-called evolutionary psychology to explain women to women, that’s already a solid asset you have going for you. Add a compatible personality to that and you’ve got potential to build with

      • gramathy
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        “Not the bottom of the barrel” isn’t exactly a glowing recommendation

        • Judge_Jury [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.netOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          1 year ago

          Sure, but I don’t know you outside of this comment section, so I figure a wide-reaching pep talk would just come across as dismissive

          More importantly, I don’t think desirability is a very linear scale. It’s true that being an evo-psych guy is basically a mandate for self-sabotaging relationships, but that mostly means that otherwise-compatible people will be consistently alienated by the evo-psych stuff. Lacking that kind of factor, one that makes healthy relationships impossible, is genuinely important if you’re interested in building relationships

          On the other end, having money is going to consistently be a help for any gender seeking any gender, because everything is just easier with money. Most other factors don’t have a very predictable effect on an individual level. I’m weird according to multiple girls I did not get along with growing up, but if I wasn’t what they called weird then I probably wouldn’t have hit it off with the person I wound up marrying. I can’t imagine I would have been happy with someone who thought I was weird, anyway

          I’ve also been called boring by family for quietly enjoying a friend’s company while we each did our own thing, but if I wasn’t what they called boring then I wouldn’t get to enjoy that, and I probably wouldn’t get along as well with those friends. Idk, maybe I’m rambling. I just think relationships are complex interactions between complex people, and regardless of most traits there’s going to be a lot of luck involved in meeting compatible people, and then continuous work involved in building a relationship with them

  • TheDialectic [none/use name]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    They Alpha males say they are the king of beasts but how do beasts lure a mate? They spend a year learning to dance, or sing, or building a home for their mate. I guarantee you that if you spend a year learning to do a dance it will get you a date. Singing? Easy. Large scale heavy labor project? Golden. It isn’t hard, they are half way there.