I was getting dressed to vote Blue to SAVE AMERICA today and suddenly as I put on my Biden tee and laced up my Buttigieg shoes and donned my Obama cap, I heard a loud zap sound in my ears and a bright flash! Someone yelled in Spanish outside my window whispering loudly saying “Zap him, now!” and I was SO close to spotting the assailant, and I searched to no avail. The Cuban trickster is gone and just like that I can’t vote today. I’m tired from not getting nearly enough sleepHavana Syndrome, I’ve lost all faith in American democracy and I feel like I need PTO and alcohol. Man, this is awful 😞! If anyone tells you that CIA agents are faking, lemme tell ya you can’t make this up. I felt so sick that I even took off my Buttigieg shoes, resigning myself to a day of rest and sleep. Oh I DO hope I can get better today and VOTE but the authoritarian Commie Regime decided to Silence me! Don’t let this happen to you too! [Pictured above👆,Me suffering from Havana Syndrome, Warning not for the faint of heart. /s]
OH NO!!! HOW DARE THOSE EVIL COMMIES ZAP A PATRIOT SUCH AS YOURSELF?!
Mission Completed (do not click)
You have completed your mission successfully. You can collect your reward at the CIA headquarters.
Do Not click, Totally not a government message
Cool send the money into my account via the NED, I convinced all these commies that Havana Syndrome is real
Definitely not a secret message at all, do not click.
Oh, you thought we were giving you money? Hahahahaha. This is the CIA. Did you really think we would fulfill our promise and not betray you? I think you should still come to CIA headquarters though. We have a different gift for you. It’s made of metal and goes really fast when fired out of a projectile accelerator.
me running away to Russia to Pull a Snowden