I made my own in a comment below. Might as well repost:

• Trump bad (we’re not Trump)
• we’re considering some (means-tested) tax credits for people who have been evicted due to medical bankruptcy
• more funding for police (we made them sign a form saying they weren’t racist. Most refused but at least they know)
• we believe in climate change. We have a comprehensive plan to move away from fossil fuels by the year 4000.
• if you don’t vote for us, we’ll email your employer that you like Putin