Vegan patties!

For about two months, every weekday I made myself a burger for lunch. The active part of the research was what can I find within a ten minute drive, how the patties cooked on the stove, and how they tasted. The rest of the research is pure data from the back of the boxes as seen in the spreadsheet below.

Note: Data collected summer of 2023 in Colorado

Summary: They’re pretty much all the same! Ta-da~. Seriously though, if you’re not picky, just grab whatever is available and cheapest at the store you go to. Except for Gardein which glues itself to your stainless steel pot no matter how oil and shuffling you give it.

The most interesting finding was that there are two main types and they’re all fairly similar within those types. And even more interesting (to me at least), the type can be inferred purely from the weight of the patty. 113g = meat-like, 71g = veggie mush. Surprisingly consistent across multiple brands. The most obvious outlier is Field Roast, who never follows the rules and makes the weirdest product. Their weight and flavor line up with a hybrid: kinda-meaty but obviously vegetables smashed together.

Other findings:

  • Gardein brands are a PITA to cook, they ooze superglue and I have to use the steel wool to clean up char every time
  • TJ’s Masala is the tastiest and cheapest, but it’s junkfood (amazing with peri-peri style hot sauce)
  • Good Catch’s salmon burgers were the next tastiest, and get extra points for uniqueness
  • King Soopers (Kroger) had a summer long sale on the Beyond Cookout Classic, making them the next cheapest per patty. Since they have the highest caloric content, this also made them the best cal/$ by a wide margin

Spreadsheet as image

Public spreadsheet link

NOTE: This is a crosspost from /r/EatCheapAndVegan

  • queermunist she/her
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    1 year ago

    Huh. It occurs to me I could make a mean fishy sandwich thing if I made my chickpea burgs with seaweed.