You don’t want to know.

I still have eebie geebie uncomfortable ewwness when I remember the time I had to handle a cooler full of deer parts 20 years ago. I don’t even remember why I was doing it, other than having to because something something I was told to…uhh yeah idk just the horror of grabbing cut up pieces of something that was alive an hour ago and all the tendons and 👎

A dead dog’s balls (definitely not on purpose)

I’ve personally shook hands with George W. Bush, Oliver North, and Sean Hanity.

I have won this thread.

a liberal

Probably, like, the average dollar bill or door handle.

When I was a kid, my mom’s boyfriend invited a friend of his to come live with us for a bit, and the guy had a large dog. One of the first nights he stayed with us, he forgot to let the dog out in the morning, so the dog took a gigantic shit at the top of the stairs. I walked out of my room and was getting ready for school and not really paying attention, stepped right in the gigantic pile of dog shit, slid about a third of the way down the staircase, and fell on my ass.

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Politicians hand. Dead body is a distant second

Grass

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Unintentionally? Dumpster juice

Intentionally?

Texas.

but more seriously, I don’t know what it was. I was a kid about 7 or 8 at a subtropical beach with huge rocks just slightly under water mostly, until the tide goes out when they would be exposed. we’re talking huge boulders, slick with life growing on them.

I spent a ton of weekends at beaches in the region so I felt pretty comfortable swimming and being crazy in the water. anyway, I went out hopping from rock to rock, which was sketchy as hell because the waves are crashing over them, and the edges are jagged as hell.

anyway, I get blown off one between two rocks by a wave and I panic grab at the rock to clamber back up it before the next wave comes… and my hand slid underneath a pocket into something really slimy and slick. that then grabbed at my hand and squeezed/pulled.

pure and absolute cosmic terror seized me at the base of my skull. like jaw clenching silently, I shot out of the water like a rocket, flitting back to the shore from rock to rock with all the speed my imagination of hell could inspire. it probably wasn’t anything dangerous, but it did not feel good to have my hand enveloped in it. it felt bad and wrong. world ending.

I am a strong swimmer, but to this day I have a visceral fear of touching biofouled surfaces because they tend to look like that surface felt. I used to pursue that submechanophobia subreddit to mess with myself, because even though these were just big rocks with stuff living on em, there’s something similar in vibes.

ugh, still fucks me up just imagining the touch.

for comparison, I’ve had my hands submerged in gallons partially digested feed, hot livestock shit (on a cold day, so the heat is perversely kinda nice) and had large animals sneeze in my face and blow snot all over me, like on my lips. its not great, but unfazing and more hilarious than gross.

human stuff grosses me out though. like I seen a turd on the ground as a janitor, and I will turn around and go the other way lol. unknown adult human poop is not my area.

Real Estate agent shook my hand once.

When getting up to piss in the middle of the night I sat my bare ass down on a giant cockroach. Don’t live in Florida, people