Hello all! @sweet_pecan@hexbear.net is taking a well-deserved break so I’ll be posting the mega in the foreseeable future. How are we all doing? I truly can’t believe it’s almost 2025.

REMEMBER, EM POC ONLY!!!

      • Dessa [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        8·
        8 days ago

        We had a poll back in the r/CTH days and it was overwhelmingly white. Things may have changed since then, but I’d be surprised if hexbear wasnt still solid majority white

    • khizuo [ze/zir]@hexbear.netOPMEnglish
      17·
      10 days ago

      I attempted to respond in good faith just in case it might help convince some people to self-crit but seriously, the fact that so many people were willing to entertain that nonsense gives me very little hope for the site.

      • FunkyStuff [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        13·
        9 days ago

        I find it really frustrating to read that thread and see you running in circles arguing points that already should be well understood. No, nobody here wants to make a website where cis men or white people aren’t allowed. I don’t know why hundreds of comments are necessary to tilt at windmills while we put words in marginalized users’ mouths. I saw the inverse happening much less frequently (and at this point I’m not even mad when people put words in the mouths of the users trying to play devil’s advocate or do debate pervertry; if you don’t want people to put words in your mouth, say what you mean, don’t launder it with rhetorical tricks).

    • Rojo27 [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      16·
      10 days ago

      Pretty cringe shit honestly. Guess we should stop saying death to America because not all Americans are bloodthirsty imperialists.

      I know we’ve recently talked about having a bookclub, but seeing how few people have checked in on the Will to Change book club makes me think that there are many people that just refuse to confront whatever biases they are holding onto.

      • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        11·
        10 days ago

        seeing how few people have checked in on the Will to Change book club

        If it helps, I’ve been reading it and just kinda lurking around the thread. I’m a few chapters behind so I haven’t contributed anything. I’d bet money there’s more people reading it as part of the club that haven’t posted anything. That includes people who browse the site but don’t have accounts.

        If you did another book club, you’d still get plenty of people reading something they otherwise wouldn’t. It’s hard organizing stuff online because that’s the nature of doing stuff online. People get flakey about stuff. It’s the reason I don’t play any tabletop games online over Webcam. Hard enough meeting up in real life. Online? People disappear into the void all the time for whatever reason and are never heard from again.

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      12·
      10 days ago

      I stayed out of that thread because I’m a cishet he/him. Maybe I have brainworms, but it seemed pedantic? Obviously “he/him” isn’t a gender. It’s also obvious when someone says “he/hims are not beating the misogyny allegations” what they’re referring to.

      One of the issues with patriarchy is it benefits men, regardless of other oppression that occurs or whether men want to take part in reinforcing it. Trans men, gay men, cishet men, men of color, etc. etc. are going to have those biases because patriarchy will force it on them. We have to be consciously thwarting those biases and sometimes that’s easier when you’re part of another marginalized group compared to being a cishet WASP.

      And again, maybe my cishet brainworms prevent me from seeing what the deal is. I just don’t take it personally if people want to vent about the awfulness of men. I know what they mean and what they’re referring to. They aren’t accusing me personally of sexual harassment, for example. They are referring to the general behavior of men to sexually harass people. The only thing I can do is listen and then tell other men saying and doing shitty things to shut the fuck up and stop it.