I stayed out of that thread because I’m a cishet he/him. Maybe I have brainworms, but it seemed pedantic? Obviously “he/him” isn’t a gender. It’s also obvious when someone says “he/hims are not beating the misogyny allegations” what they’re referring to.

One of the issues with patriarchy is it benefits men, regardless of other oppression that occurs or whether men want to take part in reinforcing it. Trans men, gay men, cishet men, men of color, etc. etc. are going to have those biases because patriarchy will force it on them. We have to be consciously thwarting those biases and sometimes that’s easier when you’re part of another marginalized group compared to being a cishet WASP.

And again, maybe my cishet brainworms prevent me from seeing what the deal is. I just don’t take it personally if people want to vent about the awfulness of men. I know what they mean and what they’re referring to. They aren’t accusing me personally of sexual harassment, for example. They are referring to the general behavior of men to sexually harass people. The only thing I can do is listen and then tell other men saying and doing shitty things to shut the fuck up and stop it.