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I had a blast, full of beer, ritalin and weed, debunking the creationism and 9/11 conspiracies, jamming with my 8 year old niece with her new karaoke mic and my new midi controller. Good times.
Hell yeah. I skipped the weed this time because my tolerance is gone and that makes me unpredictable. But yeah fueled by adderall, champagne, beer, and prime rib I had a great time helping my niece understand that her art is just as important to us as her brothers’ sports.
Only got into one pseudo argument when I met my sister-in-law’s new “friend”. He was the kind that makes sure you know he’s got money as soon as you meet him. Offered to give me the mayor’s phone number when I was shit talking the police. I just replied that I hate politicians too.
Yeah the mayor of some town of 10k, definitely want to be friends with that shitbag.
He did offer that I could bring my rifle and we could shoot on his land. He said he had some bulletproof vests we could use as test targets. Pretty tempting. Doubt it’ll ever happen though.
Oh man, my sister-in-law’s absolute trashbag alcoholic friend rocked up later in the evening and I as soon as she showed up I just retreated to a bedroom, put some jungle on my headphones, smoked up and played Switch until she left. Was actually a really nice wind down to a hectic day, my wife kept coming in to tell me stories about the trashbag’s ridiculous antics.
I’m glad your wife understands you so well. I’ll forever be devoted to mine because she stood with me through my most depraved years of severe alcoholism. I had to be good and drunk before I went to any family function. Made an ass of myself and embarrassed her countless times. It’s nice to be able to remember Christmas these days even though I still kinda hate the holiday. I hate this time of year. I hate the dark. I hate the cold. But it’s also the best it’s ever been really.
Yeah, this year I just chained myself to a radiator and shot up on heroin and crack. Perfectly safe, though apparently my outstretched hand would occasionally scratch or caress furniture. I just can’t deal with people, so this is how I cope. That, and encouraging my nieces and nephews to fight each over over my political beliefs…
…Lemmy do you hear yourself sometimes?
I hear you.
Do some fucking drugs and encourage your younger family to be better than the shitty uncle.
I’d love to hear how you shoot up crack though that’s like a next level speedball. Maybe you could even get the baking soda out and purify it. We could call it something different though.
I always just smoked the stuff.
This year, same as the last 3 years, “Some guy made a carborator that could get 100mpg…” but bringing up my fuel injected plugin hybrid gets the equivalent of that, and the cognitive disonnance goes full swing. Apparently converting the horsepower to electric drive first is cheating.
i had the same thought a couple times over the xmas break; but each time i reminded myself that my sister begged me to be there so i went back to pushing back on their trump asshattery.
i’m sure that they thought that they were being respectful, so it helps me to be certain that they will never find a common ground with me without my mother there to play peacemaker and be the glue that held our family together.
it sucks that my nieces will never be afforded the same liberties that their grandmother enjoyed and all i can do is criticize their parents openly in front of them in the hopes that they might wonder why their uncle was making their parents angry.
It’s telling that our best plan is to cause enough of a ripple before they excommunicate that grown children will later remember to ask why that happened.
it’s not the best plan; it’s the only way there is.
Explain yourself, you piece of shit.
I said he used to be a piece of shit. He’s not anymore. I’m not anymore. Glass House. White Ferrari. Live for New Year’s Eve. Sloppy steaks at Truffoni’s. Big rare cut of meat with water dumped all over it, water splashing around the table, makes the night SO MUCH more fun. After the club go to Truffoni’s for sloppy steaks. They’d say; ‘no sloppy steaks’ but they can’t stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water, before you knew it we were dumping that water on those steaks! The waiters were coming to try and snatch em up, we had to eat as fast as we could! OHHH I MISS THOSE NIGHTS, I WAS A PIECE OF SHIT THOUGH.
I am who I am
^ When your entire extended family lives in the same town/city you moved away from, and you visit once a year.
