Flattening also means that you can thaw the beef quicker when you want to cook … and in terms of body parts, it’s better to use a barrel of acid to dissolve the evidence.
Do you know how expensive a whole barrel of acid is?
Cheaper than trying to hide body parts for longer than a week … why are we discussing what to do with human body parts?
…no reason.
Which reminds me, I have to go clean my freezer … and check on my barrel of acid.
… who said anything about the body parts being human?
ಠ_ಠ
They’re spare parts for when mine fail.
Do you know how expensive a criminal conviction is?
Evidence? I’m eating them. What do you think the freezer is for?
Don’t use an acid for mammalian necromass. I hear that NaOH should be a good degreaser…
That or pigs apparently. If you already have the body in parts, don’t put in the freezer for your mom locate. I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.
Actually, you could let the pigs it all, lock, stock, and barrels, and then use a healthy dose of lye (that’s the NaOH from before) to treat the pigs’ shit for any left over solids. I’m not much of a chemist, but I do reckon that you’re left with any identifiable pieces after that ordeal.
Dya like dags?
But acid gooped body parts don’t taste as good.
How do you feel about lye? Seems to clean the organic crap better. For metal I use sulfuric. ?
Have you tried sulfuric acid on organic matter? Found some H2SO4 when I was a kid and began pouring it on stuff. Plants and chicken shit were really good for an orange cloud… Don’t stand down wind
Pro tip: Use the cheapest bags to maximize plastic consumption!
Meat = body parts, so techinically not even a joke.
I know the joke is human parts…
Sure it is buddy, sure it is.
But hamburger is body parts?
Their body my parts
Once you get more into the hobby, a standard freezer is going to fill up fast. The real pro move is investing in a dedicated chest freezer out in your storage shed.
Walk-in meat freezers are becoming quite affordable these days for the serious hobbyist.
I disagree. I got one once and it cost me an arm and a leg.
You should buy second hand. It gives you a legs up.
“By hamburgers in bulk and flatten”
Just buy some mince and learn how to cook
No it says “buy hamburger” as in hamburger meat. Ground beef.
Who has time to cook when there is prostitute murdering to be done?
Learning to cook prostitutes, tell you when I’m done?
If you murder a prostitute make sure you pay them first so you’re not shoplifting too.
Only commit one crime at a time.
Good advice! Also be sure to get a receipt.
Make sure to use every part though. Prostitute stock is the best.
Someone’s been looking in my freezer(s).
It wild thaw much quicker too.
I bought a small pack of hamburger at the grocery store once. Same foam tray but it just wasn’t overstuffed like so many are. The checkout girl, holding this, says of it “I don’t understand why they underpackage it like this.” and I say “Well some of us are bachelors and will only eat a pound of burger before it goes bad.”
I think the young people enjoy it when I get down verbally, don’t you?
A trick you can adapt is one my family often did with wild meat.
You freeze a big block of meat, beef or whatever you have. It doesn’t matter how big it is as long as it doesn’t have a bone in it.
When you go to use it, you bring out the entire frozen block and you just shave off slices like a block of wood with a big carving knife or butcher blade. Sometimes mom would just a very sharp axe if the block was too solidly frozen. Then once you got enough of what you needed, you wrap up the frozen block and put it back again. This method allows you keep a large frozen block and use it again and again without have to wait to thaw the whole thing. You only carve off what you need for the meal and then keep the rest frozen. The thin shavings of meat are quick to cook and don’t need thawing.
that reminds me of OHH THE FRENCH
What do I do with the rest? Eat it like normal, just without the meat? D:
Then later make the patties for hamburgers? Chaotic, not sure where in the scale of evil.
I didn’t realize this wasn’t universal until upthread, but Americans refer to all ground beef as hamburger or hamburger meat.
I remember not living above a grocery store. Don’t miss those days one bit
Minecraft squarey hamburguer
And use a large cookie cutter on the frozen slabs to make hamburgers. Bonus because they’re pre-smashed.
Hamburger is body parts, just squashed
Honestly a superior storage idea.
