Water + Jesus = Wine
Wine + Jesus = Brandy
Brandy + Jesus = Twice-distilled Brandy? Cooking sherry? Idk
I choose to believe at this point, Jesus got so drunk he forgot to try it a third time.
Is this really the blood of Christ? Man that guy must have been wasted 24/7
bro do you got any snacks to go with this
All I can offer is some fish and bread.
It’s all you can eat though, so there’s that
You can have one tasteless cracker.
Only if he concentrates
No, because then the ATF will show up and shoot him.
Certainly any dogs nearby RIP
"And on the third day, there was a wedding in Cana. Jesus’ mother was there. When the wine was drunk, Jesus’ mother said to him, ‘We’re out of wine.’ ‘Bruh… That’s a big yikes. But why do I care?’, replied Jesus.
Jesus mother instructed the servants, ‘you just do whatever he tells you no matter how stupid it sounds.’ Jesus sighed and turned to the servants saying, ’ Okay. You see those jars? Nope. Not that one. The big ones. Yeah. Those big ones over there. Go fill them up with water. All the way up. Then take some of the water and give it to the host."
The servants were more than a little skeptical but shrugged and did as they were told. When the host of the wedding feast tasted the water, it had become wine. And the host exclaimed, “Damn! That is some good shit. Where did you get that from?” And the servants were amazed because they knew from where the wine came.
And the servants implored Jesus, 'Do it again! No, wait. Can you make something stronger this time?"
– The Gospel According to [Skibidi] John
No it is impossible for God to do that.
Mmmm pass me more of that wine powder
Wouldn’t it be an alcoholic paste?
You just have to find another bodily fluid with the same color as the target alcohol.
So if I’m looking for Baileys…
Jesus told me it doesn’t have to be alcohol. He once turned piss into Mtn Dew. I’ve only ever done the opposite.
If he indeed turned water into wine and made all things, why would he need to recurse as if he can’t get it right the first time?
because he works in mysterious ways of course.
Woah you might be on to something here
What?
superwine
I think he ended up being Rasputin and invented vodka
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