Aside from Laura Loomer obviously.
Folks, the bourgeois, they’re no good, more and more people are saying it. All these workers— the biggest, we have the biggest workers— very handsome workers come up to me and say, Comrade Trump there is a specter haunting Europe, and you know what, they’re right. These bourgeois are very nasty people, very very rude, and very unfair to the workers. They are stealing our surplus value and no one is doing anything about it. The proletariat comes up to me every day and says, Comrade Trump will you lead the revolution? And I gotta turn to them and say look, the instruments of capitalism will be used to bring about its destruction, believe me. The means of production, Obama never wanted to seize them. Well guess what? I’m seizing them. Landlords? They’re done for folks. Everyone told me— they said, Comrade Trump you won’t be the vanguard of the revolution and they would laugh, the media laughed the democrats laughed, guess who’s laughing now?
Make an appearance on some weird Fox news show, go on a long rant about how all true patriots must ascend to a higher realm to achieve true amerikkkan freedom, and then pull a Budd Dwyer, redecorating the set with blood and brains.
Troll followers all day, troll rallies even harder, and when asked about odd sudden turns on things troll the interviewer and mention DPRK as an inspiration. Also grift a few popular figures extra hard to create animosity for later. I’m also tempted to have a free for all McD’s fish sandwich meal and unlimited diet cokes for one of said rallies so poorly planned so it reeks up the place just because.
End the Ukraine war in one day like he says he can. What do you mean he’s bullshitting?
Shoot someone on 5th avenue.
A cop if you really want to test his theory
You had me at “a cop”
It’s tempting to give some kind of surreal speech but honestly pretty hard to compete with my first thought which is contacting a bunch of my big donors and telling them that we need to have an emergency meeting in which everyone gathers together in one convenient location.
If I die in his body do I die for real?
Yes
I will simply shoot myself in the stomach three times at five minutes to 24 hours.
Do a stump speech where I start off dismissing people call me a racist xenophobe by doing the usual “I love Mexicans, I have many good friends that are Mexican” bit but slowly start making it about how many I hire, how hard working they are, really more hard working than white people, “it’s true, I’m sorry, it’s true,” start denigrating white people as lazy, some vague allusion that I pulled some strings to make them “legal,” but also amping up the stereotyping language in describing Mexicans. Piss off both sides.
Hard to get anything substantial done in 24 hours, but maybe if I say that I’ll have “our beautiful marine corps” invade Israel to decapitate the terrorist Netanyahu government to replace it with a democratic alternative that includes the Palestinians then Trump will stick with it when he regains control simply because he’s too stubborn to admit that his body was possessed by someone else.
Shit my pants and then donate all my money (anonymously and secretly) to communist orgs
Make a sweaty video post about how qanon is real.
😮💨 Finish it by reading a list of core conspirator names that is just a list of everyone who ever slighted me 💅.
Then get into a high speed car chase and armed standoff with the cops.
I’d tell all his kids that I love them and I’m proud of them. I feel like it would be fun to see how that plays out later.
Tell each of them individually that they are the favorite but not to tell the others this fact.
Have a family meeting with all my children. Produce a sealed folder. Tell them its a new will and the favorite child will get everything. Watch chaos unfold while eating a Filet o Fish sandwich. Take too big of a bite and die. Inside the folder is a Polaroid of me and Jeffrey Epstein with our names on the back written in glitter ink.
welp. my dad did the first part. hopefully not the second
I think your comment needs a spoiler tag.
Give a speech talking about how cool trans people are.
Are you a cop?
IDK the dysphoria would be pretty debilitating so probably cry