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A seating chart for an “8 HOUR FLIGHT” with the text “PICK YOUR SEAT” at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
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Of course seat 3. That would be the only one capable of a really interesting conversation. Just don’t sign anything. 😉
Agreed about 3, but you do have a chronic farter right behind you. seat 9 might get you the “beetlejuice handy” under a blanket
Seat 9 with noise cancelling headphones and beetlejuice in-flight movie might not be so bad… Considering the options…
If you’re lucky, the Devil’s gonna smell like sulfur and your nose won’t be able to pick up on anything else
but you do have a chronic farter right behind you
Plus Diaper Don right in front of you
She is 100% just going to mash it.
😂
And you can repeatedly kick the seat in front of you while doing it, earning points with your row buddy.
Look! I just got this fancy new pair of hands, and man can they fiddle! They didn’t even cost me anything…
I’d take 8, least objectionable aisle seat, I won’t have to get up as much to let them out to pee. Put on the headphones and close my eyes and pray for a mid air collision.
Hey D are you responsible for these other pricks?
D: Sorry
Even the devil would be sheepish about these assholes.
What makes you think Trump won’t be fully reclined from the moment he sits down?
Omglol, dude…
I don’t care where I sit, I won’t be in the seat long. As soon as we’re at cruising level I’m charging the cockpit and crashing the fucking plane.
The gentleman seated in aisle 3, left sends a stewardess to inform you that you could actually live thru the whole ordeal if you just promise him this one tiny little thing. But he wants it in writing to be sure.
Worth it.
A true hero
🫡
Try it as soon as you take off, cruising level gives a lot of room to recover if you’re overpowered. The few seconds after takeoff leave no room to recover.
Being overpowered is unlikey, all of these people have demonstrated they are cowards.
It doesn’t matter where we sit… what matters is our plan.
3 for sure. Only good person there. Satan gets a bad rap. All he wanted was for us humans to be free of tyranny and to give us knowledge.
Plus, as others have noted, you get to kick Frumpty Dumpty’s seat the whole time.
At least with Satan, we all know what he’s about. Can’t say I fully know or understand any other person in the lineup.
Does seat 9 include the “full Beetlejuice”?
Yes, but MTG talks politics to you the entire time, forcing you to maintain eye contact while she speaks.
That…uhh… that sounds…
Yes, it is very unpleasant.
Challenge accepted….
What does beetlejuice mean?
The person to the right of seat 9 is Lauren Boebert. She is a US congressperson who made news when she was caught on video misbehaving at a theater performance of “Beetlejuice”. Her misbehavior included shouting, cursing, vaping, having her breasts fondled, and administering a handjob to her date.
Number 2.
Strike up some idle chit chat, how ya doing, nice weather etc…
And then a totally innocent… so whaddya do for work?
Oh man. That’s an angle I never thought of. I always wanted to ask him hard questions and hold him to it. Or tell him what people really think, but to act like you have no clue who he is or what he’s done. How would a narcissist normally react to that?
3 please.
The devil will have some interesting stories about the whole god thing, and I can kick trump’s seat from behind.
You’re going to sit behind Trump? Are the oxygen masks functional?
oh, wait. seat 1 is not behind but in front of trump? then I’ll pick seat 1, I don’t know who the guy next to me is and it seems like I could just ignore him while I play video games.
Yeah I was gonna say, that’ll definitely be the most interesting
#9 cuz dick succs ain’t cheatin
So many STDs tho
I would be terrified to have my dick anywhere near marge. Boebert however can absolutely suck the chrome off a tow hitch, and I’m not convinced that’s not how she got support from cruz to run for office.
Pilot seat, so I can crash the plane and do the world a huuuge favor
o7
You’d go down a hero
9
As awful as they are I might as well get a good over the pants handy from bobert, something tells me she has snail in her though and will probably mash it, worth a shot
Dude I’d love to meet Satan. I’d high five him for having the balls to stand up to the all powerful sky tyrant.
Provably the least evil dude here.
9, I might be able to talk em into letting me cop a feel while getting an angry handy. Or satan, he’s probably got good stories.
Watch for hands from the seat behind you though…
This.
Definitely 3 unless its some right wing youtubers profile photo that i don’t know about.
But the devil? Sure!
Otherwise mcconel and hulk hogan. Mcconel will probably have another stroke and just zone out for hours. And hogan will rip his shirt and say something racist and get kicked off the plane.
I could sit with Satan and ask him how he fooled everyone else on the plane in to thinking he was God.
- you can annoy the fuck out of Trump in the seat in front of you
Bring an anchovy pizza and see how many anchovies you can drop down into the back of his suit before he notices?
A bonus.
Id sit next to Alex Jones. Just stare silently ahead, occasionally lick the air, and moisten my eyes with a wetted towelette. At the end of the flight, turn my whole body towards him, and (remember, without having said a word or acknowledged him in any way) say “Itssss been a plesssure getting to hiss know you.” And just slither off the plane.
