He’s really just got that one “accomplishment” he’s proud of, huh?
You guys! I did it! Like, with an actual woman! And, wait for it, no condom! You guys, I wennt in raw! And I totally came inside! Is your mind blown yet?
Sure thing, JD, whatever you say. What was her name? Lemme guess, Broyhill?
Ashley.
Finnala.
That’s sofa king amazing.
If the world didn’t have so many J.D. Vances in it, I would reconsider having children.
Wow, he really wants to go with the “childless” thing, huh? Should go over swimmingly with Millenials and Gen Z that can’t afford to have children anymore.
He just wants Millennials to be the happy and proud parent Trump is of his children- Ivanka, Don Jr., Derek, Barron, and he doesn’t have any other daughters.
While he’s just an adultless child
He wants to ensure that all children have children. His type is couches, dolphins, and little girls.
His type is couches, dolphins, and little girls.
That’s unfair of you to say. The first one is confirmed to be a hoax.
No it’s not. So far, no one has been able to disprove that Vance fucked a couch.
A technicality, it was actually a love seat.
But he admitted it. He even went on the “Sectional Healing” podcast. His favorite type of couch to fuck is a chaise btw
And that right there is some fascism talking points.
Most of us are childless adults because of republican policies.
They’re so fucking stupid. If they wanted to keep making the ultra rich richer, they’d give all of us enough money to spend disposable income. But the current policies are coming to the inevitable late stage capitalism conclusion where none of us have enough money to continue propping them up.
It’s been decades of short term gains over sustainability, and we’re at the end of that pattern now
Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:
https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/
Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”
Okay I’m super out of the loop, where did the couchfucker thing come from?
There was a Twitter post claiming he wrote in his book that he fucked couch cushions as a younger lad. It is (as far as we know) not true, however it caught like wildfire and is now a certified dank meme
The Bronze Age belief system makes these guys really fucking weird.
This isn’t even bronze age bruh some primitive societies had women who specialised into certain tasks not have children for various reasons. Or even for paganist (religious) reasons.
Hey! It’s an iron age belief system
That is pretty funny, actually. It’s such an old-timey insult. He is basically calling them spinsters. I can’t imagine this will catch on.
The wealthy want more people in the world so that they can pay employees less. More people, more competition for jobs. Also, more consumption, more sales.
Infinite growth requires an increase in one of two things - workers in the pool, or wages.
Corporate sees one option.
With all his focus of who does and doesn’t have kids, I feel like there’s a good “precious bodily fluids” joke to be made here.
🎶 every sperm is sacred, every sperm is good. Every sperm is needed, in your neighborhood. 🎶
I hear he left a lot of precious bodily fluids in his couch.
Hell yeah JD!!! That’s my boy! Keep giving us this motivational locker room talk, you’re the gift that keeps on giving! Keep cooking (yourself) King. You’re kinda mainlining the LGBTQ stuff to the point that it’s stale, maybe alienate some minorities next go round, that’d be SICK
I’m a childless adult. I’m such a terrible person. I worship the devil and I kill people. What are you gonna do about it? My cats are literally tiny Satans.
Actually, they fucking rock. Best kitties in the world.
Fellow childless adult here. Partner and I want kids, but we can’t bear to bring a person into this world where the climate is fucked, reaganomics has ruined the middle class, and restrictive reproductive healthcare laws make pregnancy a huge risk.
JD Vance wants to removed about childless adults, but he and his ilk are causing us to abstain from having kids.
Unlike him and his wife, Couchela.
You know what else is childless? All the couches he’s been humping. What a hypocrite. Sheesh.
I dunno, I’ve seen some chairs and loveseats that look too much like their couches to be a coincidence. We might need to get Maury involved here.
