• m5rki5n@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      5 months ago

      I want to learn more about the LGBT community and since I’m a cis white guy living in a post soviet country, who grew up in a conservative family, I know jack shit.

      So I want to ask this question, is it okay for minors to have an opportunity to make surgeries on themselves? Like, we have age gaps for a reason, is there something that I’m missing here? Should there not be any regulations regarding this?

      Like, minors are notoriously not great at making decisions or being reasonable, I wouldn’t trust myself doing something this big, that’s for sure.

      • Ocommie63 [she/her]@lemmygrad.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        5 months ago

        The use of the word minor in this headline is misleading as it implies that young kids are getting surgeries, this is not the case the only minors getting surgery are like 17 year olds at the youngest, there is no 12 or 13 year old getting gender affirming surgeries. Since only the oldest of minors are getting surgery I don’t really see it as an issue as there is not really a big mental and decision making difference between someone who is 17 and someone who is 18. Im not advocating for 13 year olds to get surgery and I am also not advocating for no regulation on surgery, those regulations greatly protect the ones on the operating table from malpractice and other injuries, and overall.

        On the topic of not knowing if you made the right decision in the surgery; being trans is something that you know as living in your body as it is can cause serious mental anguish and even physical anguish. To really deny corrective surgery to that pain is just cruel. Imagine if you had pain coming from your wisdom teeth and you told your doctor that you needed to have them removed because they were causing you pain, but instead of giving you an appointment to an oral surgeon (like they do today). Your doctor instead questioned if your pain was even real or if you were faking it. Imagine then them telling you that if you really WANT a surgery you need to make sure you are mentally well enough to deal with the “consequences” of not having your wisdom teeth (the same teeth that cause you great pain) anymore and they made you get the signatures of 3 different (and very expensive) psychologists that say that you are mentally well enough to get your wisdom teeth removed because they are causing you great pain. That hypothetical situation may seem completely absurd but it is what many of us trans folks have to go through not only to get surgery but even just HRT. Its completely ridiculous, especially so because cis people can get as much cosmetic surgery as they want and as long as they have the money and nobody will give them shit for it, but as soon as a trans person wants a cosmetic surgery we have to jump through tonnes of hoops.

        One final point is that if trans surgery for minors is banned today we have to think about what will be next. These restrictive legislations for trans minors are almost never the end of the restrictions for trans people after they get rid of surgery for minors then they will aim to get rid of surgery for adults as well. And then this goes on until our existence is effectively made illegal. Because that the end goal, to be able to lock us up somewhere for just existing. With that in mind it becomes crucial to resist and oppose any reduction in the autonomy of any type of trans person because a threat to one is a threat to all

        Also thank you for asking questions in good faith, frankly most cis people don’t give us the time of day. And if you want to know more about trans people just PM me and I will get back to you.

        • m5rki5n@lemmygrad.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          13
          ·
          5 months ago

          Fucking awesome response, thank you so much for it. I get how you feel now much more.

          I think an important point to make as well is that these legislations are not even made by trans people, so they have no authority on telling you what to do. Fuck them all.

      • ComradeSalad@lemmygrad.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        5 months ago

        When they mean minor in this case, they are referring to children 16 and older who have parental approval, and the approval of at least one psychiatrist and psychologist who have determined that a surgery is medically required to treat body dysphoria and that there is no other option.

        There is nowhere on the planet that 10 year olds are getting surgeries, but the phrase “trans minors” is used by reactionaries to obfuscate the issue and make people believe that the phrase is referring to small children.

        Further, receiving approval for a gender affirming surgery as a minor is horrifically difficult. The process takes several years as the child must have a substantiated and documented history of body dysphoria by medical professionals. A process that is costly, time consuming, and emotionally and mentally draining. If a person is not committed they will simply not be able to follow through; as it would be like putting your legs in an industrial just for fun. No sane person is doing that just because they feel like it.

        Trans affirming surgeries have an astonishingly negligible regret and reversal rate. Hip replacement surgeries have a regret rate magnitudes higher for example. This is because of how arduous and thorough the screening process is.

      • D61 [any]@hexbear.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        5 months ago

        Like, minors are notoriously not great at making decisions or being reasonable, I wouldn’t trust myself doing something this big, that’s for sure.

        But a minor isn’t making this decision alone. At the very least, there are all of the medical professionals who have a checklist of things to work through before recommending and clearing any particular procedures. Also, its going to be pretty difficult for most minors to get any kind of gender affirming medical care without a parent being involved. So before there’s any arbitrary limits to care based on age there’s going to be a small army of people who are already directly involved with the decision making process alongside the patient.

        Removing the arbitrary age limits allows for patients who are developing faster than the average that the age limits where based on and their doctors to move forward with treatment based on the individual instead of being forced to wait until the correct age has been reached for the doctors/ect to begin treatment.

    • ComradeSalad@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      The title is overblown and ragebait. The Department of Health was considering changing their medical guidelines regarding surgery, but they were just floating the idea. The proposal was to lower the minimum age for hysterectomies and genital surgery from 18 to 17, and mastectomies from 16 to 15, as they are technically minors, but the Department of Health stated they couldn’t scientifically justify reducing the age due to the high probability of complications and liability. So they scrapped the plans.

      Transmasc minors can still get mastectomies at 16, trans fems can get breast implants at 17, and hormone treatments can still begin at 14-16, with puberty blockers before then.

      Anyway, still doesn’t mean Biden cares at all about trans people. He probably forgot they exist.

  • Anarcho-Bolshevik@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    16
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    I feel like I am growing more and more antisocial by the month, and in ways that I never anticipated. My birthday was five days ago and I chose to avoid mentioning it (except to somebody on a Matrix channel). I gave up on voice chat with somebody because of some technical difficulties. I haven’t even touched Discord in a week, let alone attempted to communicate with others there.

    Lastly, there is something else that I feel too uncomfortable to talk about in public, but it has pushed me in the direction of more suicide ideation… the main reason that I quit ideating yesterday was that I was afraid of only reincarnating into a life even worse than this one, and I usually don’t enjoy gambling.

    • ComradeSalad@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      edit-2
      5 months ago

      Happy Birthday : ) it sounds like it’s been rough for you, and while I can’t ever possibly know your situation, please treat yourself kindly. You’re a good person and you deserve to be happy. Even if it’s just treating yourself a little bit as a birthday gift, I hope things are able to look up for you.

      It was my birthday a few days ago too actually. I took off from work for the day, but no one remembered except for my babushka with a short text. It’s hard not being remembered, but things will look up.

      But again, Happy birthday! I hope this coming year will be better for you : )

    • 小莱卡@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      4 months ago

      each one of us has its own particular conditions so i don’t know if it will work out for you, but for me going to the gym has helped a lot.

    • darkernations@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      Hopefully this may be useful (I will not ask specifics to maintain anonymity):

      1. If you are able to get access to medical care please book a consultation ASAP. Also look up national/local support phone numbers if possible/able for counselling/mental health/access to psychological therapy.
      2. CBT workbook: https://www.hpft.nhs.uk/media/1655/wellbeing-team-cbt-workshop-booklet-2016.pdf
      3. Exercise - Effect of exercise for depression: systematic review and meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials (TLDR sometimes can be as effective as anti-depressants) https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-075847 Even just doing jumping jacks till you sweat can help (aim 30 min if possible)
      4. However, if appropriate one may still need antidepressants/medication hence point number 1 (however, point number 1 is not just for medication).
      5. Find a supportive community; friends / a real life social network helps. Maybe look for local support groups?

      If I am barking up the wrong tree then please ignore me.

      /edits: clarity

  • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    5 months ago

    I scrolled through the trans sub for a while and now my feed is getting spammed by ads for tucking panties lmao

  • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    5 months ago

    I made Sambal Setan (Devil’s Sambal) from a pepper plant I grew and it has so far eliminated all the white ‘I like spicy food’ people around me

    • Xillionaire@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 months ago

      Making fun of someone for their weight is apparently okay when it’s someone the west does not like.

  • 小莱卡@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    5 months ago

    TIL that cybertrucks were designed in such a way that they could be completely tax deductable. Thats why a ton of american petitebourgeois are buying them.

  • commiespammer@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    edit-2
    5 months ago

    I might write a thread about what wisconscom’s taught me about myself. But I do have a habit of elaborately planning out posts down to the very sentences I’ll use and then never getting around to writing them, something I came dangerously close to doing with my Beiyang thread.

  • DankZedong @lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    4 months ago

    Tonight I will watch the Dutch game over here in Belgium together with other Dutchies living in the city. We will play Turkey of which there are also a lot of immigrants living here. One of us will win. One of us will celebrate the win. And only one of us will get scrutinized for it by the Belgian people.

  • ShiningWing@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    4 months ago

    Been reading about trans people’s experiences with the TSA because flying is the only way I’ll ever get to be with my girlfriends (I’m in Atlantic Canada, they’re in western US), it’s just such a worry for me and makes me feel like I’ll never be able to make it happen because being sexually assaulted is not a price I’m willing or able to pay

    • ComradeSalad@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      It’s anecdotal but me and my partner haven’t had much trouble with TSA in major cities. They’re either genuinely to busy to care, or you have to act like an asshole and piss them off to have a problem happen. But if you’re flying from a major Canadian city to someplace like LAX, no TSA agent is going to bother you or give you the time of day.

      I would avoid smaller airports with less traffic though. You might run into some bored hicks and that is a recipe for disaster.

      • ShiningWing@lemmygrad.ml
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        4 months ago

        I appreciate this comment, I’ve heard it’s gotten a bit better over the past year or so too because they have new body scanners apparently, thank you for the reassurance

        Still not entirely sure if I can make myself do it, the consequences of the potential worst case scenario are so absolutely horrible that I have to be absolutely certain it’s not going to happen in order for me to be willing to take the risk, I probably wouldn’t be able to handle even the most basic patdown if the scanners decide to flag me, let alone if a TSA agent decides to be an abuser that day

        I really wish though that this pointless security theater organization would be abolished already so that merely travelling internationally wasn’t so much to worry about

  • 小莱卡@lemmygrad.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    4 months ago

    the AI brainrot is reaching to me, any hardware recommendations? thinking about getting a raspberry pi with hailo kit

    • juchenecromancer@lemmygrad.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      4 months ago

      Hailo or another AI accelerator with Raspberry Pi will meet your requirements pretty well. Raspberry Pi 4 without an accelerator performs decently too depending on the task, but stuff like computer vision can be slow.