I have a urine drug test on Tuesday morning and last smoked on Sunday
I’m not a chronic smoker or anything, but I do it recreationally (because I haven’t had to take a drug test in probably 6-7 years at this point)
Is there any hope for me to pass? Everywhere online says I’m fucked
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You’re fine if you can cheat but you need to cheat.
If it’s the kind of urine test where they let you go into a bathroom and wait outside, you can order some synthetic urine or find some in a head shop maybe.
Yup lol can’t cheat
I hate this puritanical shithole where people can be one drink away from alcohol poisoning on the clock while I lose a job for doing something on my own time
Death to America
I guess my only saving grace might be the fact that my metabolism is insane but that’s a long shot
If it’s not for probation I’m not sure its even legal for someone to watch you piss, while a urine pouch is probably the most sure fire route there are drinks that will purge your system of metabolites. Goto a local head shop and ask for a detoxification drink, do not say it’s for a drug test or they won’t sell it to you.
I’ve never used real piss. Sub Solution’s maker sells a belt with a small tube and a reservoir that’s gravity operated which you may want to check out, the “incognito belt”. I have no idea what their “spike urine additive” is meant to do but maybe that’s worth checking out…
They ship overnight.
Make sure you pee on the outside of the cup a bit
Or if someone is watching you, on them. If you’re fucked anyway, might as well go out with a splash.
Break into the area that they have all the other samples and pee in all of them and taint them.
Workaholics method
Best test in the West!
Yeah dude unless you’re on probation you can cheat. They can’t watch you pee for a work drug test. Just stuff it in your groin.
Ok so I took the test and might be alright. I had to go into a stall and empty out my pockets while the attendant waited outside the stall
My new supervisor messaged me on signal and said he’d authorize a new test if I failed this one, so any last tips?
Nothing that hasn’t been said. Buy the fake pee, keep it around if you don’t end up needing it. It works, and you just put it in your pants so it’s not in your pockets.
I passed without cheating 😅
The high lasted for about three seconds, now I realize that I have a new shitty job :/
This is purely anecdotal, and to be taken with a shard of salt because of where I heard it from, but: drink a lot of water. A lot. Keep drinking water until your piss is water. Because supposedly, if your piss is basically water like that it will void a urinalysis test and they will reschedule it.
Also death to America.
you’ll piss dilute if you do this, depending on the test it’s either a fail or a re-test
🫡
Like the day of or the days leading up to it or both?
The former.
unless they are watching you do the test just cheat
I’ve done this successfully at least thrice with the fake pee. Employers can kiss my ass. Only my doctor and my boyfriend can get the real thing when asked.
I just had one of my clean friends piss in a cup for me and I used a Turkey baster to put it in a water balloon. Done this twice successfully
Oh yeah, I did that once too, but I used a travel shampoo bottle. A balloon sounds risky, dang. Nice job.
Balloon can stay warm against your body, but it in your briefs along the inner thigh lmao
Didn’t read all the replies but here is how I used to do it.
Drink a lot of water the night before and day of. Don’t get water poisoning but get real close. You want as much of your piss to be water as possible.
Take a couple B12 vitamins a couple hours before the test. They will make you piss yellow even if it’s all water.
That said, you might still be fucked. I’ve used this method to pass a test in under 24 hours but YMMV. My metabolism is ridiculous.
Good luck, comrade.
To explain, the person testing you will check for temperature and appearance. If it’s too clear they may require another sample.
I went through a state-run program called drug court (you can have a little doxxing, as a treat. Afaik not many states have this program) and if you pissed too clear they’d make you give another sample. They didn’t observe us directly, so maybe that’s why. Someone just stood outside the bathroom and listened.
Refusal to give a new sample would result in a fail.
For the record I was 100% sober whilst going through this program and it’s probably the best thing that happened to me. I chose not to be a CI and it got me (relatively) cheap outpatient rehab. 13+ hours a week of therapy and real consequences to my actions. ended a decade-long opiate addiction. So I never cheated on their tests, just conveying my experience.
I did spend my teenage years doing through multiple, less punitive, programs, which is where I draw this experience from.
Please hire me to be the pee listener at drug court I am normal and can be trusted to monitor the audio streams
That would make you a cop, comrade.
even if my only job is monitoring the streams and giving everyone an all-clear as they commence suspicious activity while i dick around on my phone?
Yes
I guess I would have no choice but to be a Dorner-style cop, no elaboration needed
Is water poisoning a real thing? What are the symptoms?
“Confusion, nausea, and vomiting are symptoms. Severe cases can cause seizures, coma, and death.”
It waters down the blood, diluting electrolytes. It’s a LOT of water. But it’s something that is definitely possible.
Huh, must be like chugging ten 18L cooler bottles…
I have personally cheated a urine test by following the directions in Urine Trouble.
I did it by taking bleach with me in a contact rewetting drops bottle in my pocket, and then putting a couple drops of bleach in the sample. By BMI, I was overweight but not obese, so significant body fat but not extreme, and I was a daily (all-day) smoker.
It’s important to put the drops in after you pee in the cup - there’s a strong weird smell that happens when you do it the other way around - and to not put too much. You only need a very tiny bit.
I used it to get a job at a place that handled financial records and was very strict about testing.
Do you have low body fat? Idk how true it is but I’ve heard it leaves your system quickly if you’re skinnier, I knew someone who smoked the day before and passed a test but he had basically no fat, he drank a bunch of water and something else like cranberry juice before because the test won’t pass if you dilute it too much. So I’m not sure about the details but it’s not impossible you could pass. You did mention your metabolism so maybe!
Hope it works out though, drug tests are bullshit. They don’t even catch a lot of drugs, most harder drugs leave your system more quickly so it’s less likely to be detected, it’s mostly stoners who get punished by them.
Thc metabolites are fat soluble and get stored in body fat so yeah I’ve heard the same. But idk how much of a difference it actually makes
You can get some cheapo test strips from the drug store or online, test yourself with that a few times the days leading up. Also, drink a LOT of water right before the test, like a full cup right when you wake up and pee as much as possible before going in. The idea is to dilute your urine as much as possible to make the test inconclusive, which most places call a pass. Careful with the fake stuff because it has to stay a certain temp to look real (keep it in your underwear against your pelvis if you go that route). I’ve had friends use the head shop “supplements” and the fake stuff and have passed, it really depends on the place. If you do pop positive you could say you visited a legal state in the past month where you tried it and act surprised that it still showed up. Good luck! Hope you get it!!
I’m going to level with you comrade, I didn’t read past the title - whatever it is, if you’re asking here then is not a good sign.
Edit: I read it… Yeah, doesn’t look good. But you might be able to follow some old head methods of drinking a fuck ton of water. There’s apparently some drinks you can order that will flush you out before hand.
Depends on how much you weigh and how frequently you smoke. You say recreationally, but is that more than 2-3 times in the last 30 days?
If Sunday was your first time smoking in more than a month (or you haven’t smoked more than like a handful of times in that same amount of time & don’t have a ton of body fat), then you should be fine provided you piss a few times before the test and drink plenty of water. Definitely consider just invalidating the test like others have mentioned by drinking a shitton of water the day of (basically until your piss is clear lol) if you are worried that your recent usage might cause you to fail.
I’m like 6’3 155 so pretty damn underweight but not sure that matters
You might be okay if it’s like the only time you smoked in the last few weeks and if you’re fairly skinny and active (metabolites are fat soluble which is why it shows up forever) but no guarantee. I would say you’re not absolutely fucked but there’s a lot of variables dawg
Is there any chance you can take a bunch of niacin and sweat it out? I don’t know a lot about this but i’ve heard of people taking some supplements and a bunch of fluids and working out to flush/sweat it out. But it may affect your health so be careful if you go this route
