People don’t wanna talk about it at all because it’s too close to trans-ness being a mental illness but imma come at this from entirely the opposite direction:
The NO.1 predictor of a cluster B personality disorder is a consistently invalidating childhood environment.
What’s more invalidating than spending your whole childhood saying “hey I think I’m actually a-” and every single person around you cutting you off right there and saying “no you ain’t.” Psychiatry ain’t shit without social context but psychiatry is also coming to accept that being constantly invalidated as a child gonna do your brain the fucky-wucky.
It’s ok to accept that trans ppl are at an increased risk of personality disorders due to our completely fucked societal norms. Accepting that we’re at increased risk of mental disorders due to societal bullshit =/= saying being trans is a mental illness. If anything, it’s an indictment of the society we live in.
TLDR; trans ppl are at increased risk of mental illness =/= transness IS a mental illness and we still deserve to acknowledge the trauma society done did to us.
I have met and gotten close to so many trans women with BPD (probably more with it than without), and I also am BPD and trans. There is definitely a correlation. There should be no stigma in understanding this correlation. I remember one of my conversations with an uneducated person about trans people and the BPD correlation, and he brought it up like it was a bad thing. It’s just a thing. Perhaps we could better understand ourselves if we looked further into it.
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Life is complicated because of people’s differing needs and wants and opinions. But I agree that a baseline should be established of acceptance of all (except for those who desire to or do actually hurt others, they require special help and need to be in their own category). The reason transgender things are a little complicated, is because trans folk ask that they’re respected and treated as their transitioned gender (the gender they have become). You don’t have to believe us when we tell you who we are, but it’s important that you respect us as we say we are. That, after all, is the baseline you yourself ask for.
If it’s the reasoning behind transitioning you’re curious about, it’s not something that’s fully understood. All we know, is that something, it might happen during fetal development, it might happen during early childhood, it might happen during mid-childhood, but it most likely happens before 10, changes a person, and internally, they become who they are not yet. Being who you aren’t is akin to not existing at all, and so trans people suffer through gender-dysphoria. When people cite being transgender as a mental illness, they are referring to gender-dysphoria itself, which can be helped, if not cured. And here’s the controversial part. The best treatment we know to gender-dysphoria is transitioning. What better way to treat feeling like you’re in the wrong body, than by fixing the body you’re in? You cannot change who you are inside, but you can change the outside.
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It sounds like she doesn’t understand herself yet. Don’t worry. Everyone finds themselves eventually. I’m not implying that I know more than either you or she does about her. I’m just saying if she’s changing her mind lots, that’s probably just experimentation. It’s healthy. But take her seriously. The experimentation is pointless if others don’t take her seriously, because, if so, the moment she settles on something, people are going to treat her differently, and she’s going to have to start over again.
When I was young, before I transitioned, I thought I was bisexual, then I thought I was gay, then I thought I was bisexual again, and then I went through a bunch of other stuff. Finally, I realized I was a woman. I still have no idea what my sexuality is. I’ve dated plenty on both sides, but I’m married to a woman.
Oh, and I’m sure you’re wondering, why would I transition to a woman, just so that I can date and marry women? Wouldn’t it be better to just be straight? It’s a very valid question. A lot of people ask me. And, it’s not about sexuality. It’s not about who I’m interested in. It’s about who I am. And that is completely separate from who I love. The way most see it, gender is one thing, that’s who you see yourself as. Sexuality is another thing, it’s who you see in others.
Sorry, this post didn’t get through because of federation issues. I had sent it 4 hours ago.
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Life is a complicated thing. I like it this way. It’s interesting and fun.
My wife and I aren’t quite settled down just yet, cause we’re planning to move in a couple months, and by then our goals are just to make enough money to convert a van into a living space. Ironically, by the time we’re “settled”, we’ll be living on the road, never staying too long in a single spot. It’s my dream to live the rest of my life hiking the country, then maybe the world.
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