• Cowbee [he/they]OP
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    9 hours ago

    “Sucking dick” as an insult is homophobic because the root is in shame. Shame, because sexual favors are seen as “subservient,” which also has roots in misogyny. Given that I display my pronouns as he/they, it’s pretty clearly directed in a manner that tried to depict me in a “shameful” position giving sexual favors to men.

    Given that I am also pansexual, this is worse, though they had no way to know.

    Tangentially, “kissing ass” has similar roots. Further still, even after having it pointed out, they defended their actions. Certainly not actions I would want a moderator of queer communities to have.

      • Cowbee [he/they]OP
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        9 hours ago

        Using it as an insult is homophobic. Doing it for pleasure is the opposite (assuming both pariticipants are men).

        • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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          9 hours ago

          I understand how it could be insulting as a command. “Go suck a dick” implies that it’s an undesirable activity to be used as punishment.

          I don’t understand the homophobia in using sucking dick like kissing ass, swinging from their nuts, or cucking. They are interchangeable in both context and sexuality.

          • Cowbee [he/they]OP
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            9 hours ago

            Again, the root is that performing sexual favors for someone you are supporting or defending is in shame. The source of this shame, is that society sees such an action in a negative light. If you say someone supporting someone is sucking them off, it implies that they are taking a shameful action that if discovered they would be embarrassed.

            It weaponizes society’s homophobia to silence others. On top of being rude, it’s based in misogyny and homophobia.

            • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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              8 hours ago

              How is it homophobic if someone told me, a straight man, that I’m kissing a woman’s ass? How do you even know my sexual preference in the first place?

              I could understand claims of sexism in general, but homophobia is not all-encompassing to your point of shame.

              • Cowbee [he/they]OP
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                8 hours ago

                It wouldn’t be homophobic to claim you were kissing a woman’s ass. It would still be rooted in sexual shame, which has misognyistic roots. I told you quite plainly that I openly display my pronouns and am a pansexual man, saying I am sucking someone’s dick is homophobic in this case.

                • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
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                  8 hours ago

                  So the only way to use a sexually charged analogy for sidling without being homophobic is to ensure the sexual act differed from the subject’s sexual preference if they’re homosexual, bisexual, or pansexual, but aligned with their sexual preference if they’re heterosexual?

                  Also, I thought pronouns only assisted in determining gender. How could I know your sexual preference simply by knowing your gender?

                  I’m pretty sure you’re asking for more awareness and consideration than most people are willing to provide.

                  • Cowbee [he/they]OP
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                    8 hours ago

                    That gets rid of the bulk of the homophobia, technically, but the basis is typically rooted in misogyny regardless and using sexually charged analogies as sources of shame in general should be avoided. I’m not asking for awareness, I’m asking that insults be purely related to the topic at hand and not based on immutable characteristics. Notice how I brushed aside accusations of being a “tankie?” Such an insult is silly, but doesn’t assert sexual shame.